Nothing but Grapes
by Benjamin Franklin Powers
Summary: WARNING this story contains: SasuNaru, Zac Efron, ramen flavored gummy bears, strawberry scented shampoo, Gaara's purse, Emo McRomance, the capital of Malaysia, grocery stores, depressing poetry, words of youth, screenplays, tea parties, and more.
1. Chapter 1

A grape rolls out of the lunchroom. Naruto stared after it, wondering how it got there. He turned his head and saw a black-haired kid, sitting with a tray full of grapes. Grapes. Nothing but grapes.

_What kind of weirdo is this?_ Naruto thought as a red haired kid, whom he recognized as Gaara, walked up to the hen head (Sasuke) and handed him a piece of bread.

"Here, you can't just eat grapes the whole day," Gaara said and walked off. _Man, that redhead is acting strange…_ Naruto sighed and stood up; lunch was over.

Naruto's next period was Science, and he was terrified because Neji was in it. Neji was a brainiac, and he always showed off. Naruto walked into the classroom and suddenly stopped. The kid with the grape obsession was back, sitting a few desks away from his seat. He sat down, looking a little confused. Class started and Iruka-sensei asked for a volunteer to explain they have learned a day before. Of course, Neji's hand shot up first. He stood up and winked at Sasuke, who was sitting next to him.

"Wish me luck, Sasuke-kun!" Neji smiled. Sasuke glared. _WHAT?? HE'S GAY??_ Naruto stared, shocked. _So his name's Sasuke…_ Naruto noticed that Gaara was glaring at Neji. He looked like he wanted to throw knives at him. Neji was rambling about some scientifical procedure or something... Suddenly, Gaara rose out of his seat.

"That's wrong," he said, glaring.

"W-What?!" Neji stuttered looking taken aback.

"I said it's wrong, your explanation," Gaara remained calm.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S WRONG??? I'M NOT WRONG!!!" Neji fumed, launching himself at Gaara. Iruka-sensei caught Neji by his shoulders.

"Neji, Gaara is right. Your explanation was a little off, it's nothing to get angry about," Iruka-sensei explained and everyone calmed down a little. Neji cried inwardly. _I've failed you, Sasuke!!_ He sat there banging his head on the table while Gaara coolly explained the whole thing. Perfectly. _Time for pay back!_

Naruto glanced at Sasuke, who was engaged in a glaring contest with a wandering ant, as if he were trying to burn a hole in the creature. He obviously doesn't show any interest in either of them. Naruto was somewhat pleased with this whole situation, it was amusing. Maybe he'll sir things up a bit…

The bell rang, school was now over and Lee was the first person out the door… as always. Shino sighed as the long girly-haired man pulled away the protesting Uchiha.

"To the candy store, Sasu-chan!!" Neji sang while his haired billowed in the wind.

"Nng.." They skipped away happily (well, Neji did)._Wonder where Gaara is at this moment?_ Naruto wondered. _Hmm... Might as well follow along. _Neji waltzed into the candy store, still dragging the annoyed Sasuke (who now has given up protesting). Naruto walked in and looked around. He has never been here before; it was considered a girly store. He looked around and suddenly felt very awkward. Neji and Sasuke were eating lollipops... and Neji was acting strange. After 10 more minutes of Neji prancing about, they finally neared the cash register to pay for the candy.

"Okay, we would like to buy- GAARA??!!" Neji retreated and hid behind Sasuke.

"Since when do you work here, Gaara," Sasuke calmly asked, looking at Gaara who was wearing a cashier tag that said the wrong name on it.

"Since two seconds ago," Gaara said and scanned the candy. "That would be $19.95" (omg 20 dollars of candy) As the two guys fiddled with the sweets, Naruto also stood in line, waiting to buy ramen flavored gummy bears. He leaned on the shelf of multi-coloured jelly beans, which was not a good idea. The back of the shelf wasn't supported by anything, and Naruto was heavy. It started to tip forward as Naruto turned his head around _Oh, crap… _he thought as the shelf started to fall forward in slow motion. Containers of the bright jelly beans spilled out, sending drops of candy rain upon the four bystanders.

"WAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

"What the--?"

"Oh, pretty colours!"

"Gaara, that's coming out of your paycheck!"

_Oh, so he does work here!_ Neji thought while still getting hammered with the sweet beans. Naruto jumped out of the way just in time to narrowly miss the giant jelly bean storage device, but in the process slipped on a few pieces. "Gah!!" He waved his arms around, but failed to keep his balance and fell. Just where Sasuke happened to be standing. Sasuke turned wide-eyed and tried to block Naruto. In the huge jumble of people flying everywhere, Naruto ended up lying on top of Sasuke, who looked very annoyed.

"Uh…ha…" Naruto grinned, "So your name's Sasuke, eh?"

"Get off me," Sasuke gasped and rolled Naruto to the side. Naruto stood up, a little disappointed, but then suddenly tripped again (--') and almost killed Sasuke. Neji and Gaara were throwing candy at each other and yelling, but then both of them stopped and stared.

"SASU-KUN!!!" Neji flew to where Naruto and Sasuke were lying and shoved Naruto off. Sasuke got up, slightly red, and brushed off his shirt. Neji furiously turned around at Naruto, who started apologizing.

"I-I'm sorry! I wasn't looking where I was stepping, I swear!"

"It's fine, Neji." Everyone froze and stared at Sasuke.

Wait, was that even the _real_ Sasuke? The one who normally, **normally**, hates everyone else?! How then, is he so… accepting of this… this… Blond-haired idiot that he's barely met, when Gaara and I have known him much longer? Neji gasped. Was it…? No way! Sasuke liked Naruto's melon cucumber conditioner better than his strawberry splash one! Ladies and gentlemen, fasten your seatbelts. Doomsday has seemed to come early this year.

Neji ran out crying. Gaara looked a little worried. _He uses melon cucumber conditioner?_ Sasuke thought to himself, remembering the smell of Naruto's hair. _Didn't Neji used to use that shampoo?_ Sasuke chuckled to himself a little and followed Neji out of the door. Gaara looked like he wanted to leave, too, but his manager (Kabuto heheh) was yelling something about a guest of honor coming to the candy store (Orochimaru obviously). Naruto decided to go to eat ramen, he was getting hungry. He took a deep breath and tugged his neon orange jacket tighter around his torso. It was still in the beginning of February, one of the few months Naruto hated. Summer suited him better. He rounded the corner, swearing he could have heard Rock Lee in the distance shouting, "My stapleeeeeeerr!"

Naruto plopped down on one of the stool chairs in the front of Ichiraku, slapping down a 5000 yen bill shouting to the old man, "Two bowls of miso ramen, please!"

"Ah, Naruto, you've come _again_? When do you ever tire of these noodles?" Naruto flashed a cheeky grin.

"Never!" and promptly began shoveling the miso flavoured squiggles.

_Even though he only ordered two bowls to begin with, he must have ended up with about 12! _The old man thought while sweat dropping. _Ah, well. More money for us._

Naruto leaned back in his seat to groan and pat his stomach, but realized a little too late that stools don't have back support.

"Ow…" the fox boy moaned as he rubbed the soon-to-be bruise on the back of his head. He growled as he heard someone chuckling behind him, and turned to see the inconsiderate son of a turkey.

The girl was tall, blond-headed, and waved around a slightly oversized purple fan. The blond part known as hair was sectioned off into four ponytail puffs.

Naruto crossed his arms and stuck out his tongue, still lying flat on his back. "What do you want, Temari?"

"Oh, nothing. Just passing by…" She smirked into her fan, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Say, Naruto… Do you happen to know a guy named Sasuke?"

"Yeah, what of it?" Temari giggled.

"You two would make a cute couple!"

"Wait, what? Eww, no," Naruto waved his arms around frantically. "I'm not gay!"

"Oh really now," Temari grinned evilly. "What about that time when you and Kiba where in the park and--"

"WHAT? HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT, YOU… YOU… YOU STALKER!!!" Naruto scrambled up and pointed at Temari gaping.

"Oh, I know _everything_. I'm a fangirl," Temari proudly announced, patting Naruto on the head.

Weather it was coincidence or someone out there just really hated him, Naruto will never know, because at just that moment Kiba walked into the scene.

"Hey, Naruto! What's u--"

"KIBA!!! Kiba, she knows!!! Temari what happened at the park that… one time."

"NOOES!" KIba dove behind the counter.

"Hey, you're not allowed back here --'" The old man said, looking very annoyed.

"Well duh, I'm a fan girl. **Fan **girl," Temari pointed at her fan.

"Umm… Right…" Naruto looked deeply disturbed.

"ANYWAYS, come with me," the blond fan girl grabbed Naruto by his arm and dragged him outside.

"HEY NARUTO PAY FOR YOUR RAMEN!!" The old man yelled.

"SORRY!!!" Naruto managed to yell before losing sight of the shop. _Kiba, don't kill me, please!_ He pleaded mentally before looking around to where he was being dragged, which was somewhere outside in the Konoha shopping centre. People came here to hang out after shopping to sip their coffee and admire pretty flowers. Out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of the same dark-haired person that kept appearing in Naruto's life that day. But he wasn't alone. Oh, no no no, he was very far from alone. In fact, there were so many other girls gathered around him, it looked like he was about to drown in a sea of hearts.

"What'd you bring me here for?" Naruto questioned. The only reason he didn't put up a fight was because he knew what kind of resources Temari had, not to mention she threatened him with posting a picture of him and Kiba making out and cough other things on the school news board.

"Temari didn't answer his question directly. Instead she just grinned evilly and shouted to the ocean, "OMG LOOK! IT'S ZACK EFFRON AND THAT OTHER FAMOUS PERSON!" pointing in the direction of the men's restroom.

"OHGOD **WHERE?!" **Naruto yelled, getting excited. Until he realized the whole group of girls took off like a mad stampeed of cows to rush to the way Temari pointed, squealing the whole way. Naruto felt like an idiot immediately, and blushed furiously to show it.

"So, Naruto. Zach Effron turns you on??" Temari waved around her fan and poked Naruto laughing.

"GAAH!!! That's not true!!" He shook his head. _How could I have let that slip?_ He thought as his brain got mental kicks.

Before he had time to realize what was going on, Temari shoved Naruto. At Sasuke. Who was also just as confused, having just been freed of the fan-mob, but managed to catch Naruto in mid-fall nonetheless.

Flash

_Aw tuna fish…_

And with that, they both collapsed to the ground. Temari giggled at the sight of the two, as Naruto struggled with his sanity.

"Ngyarghnaac!" Naruto moaned.

"…What?" Temari and Sasuke looked at him strangely.

Naruto cleared his throat. "It's what all the nerds are doing these days!!!"

Sasuke and Temari continued to stare.

"… It's called the Gerten." Sasuke's eye twitched a bit. _Oh God, I'm stuck underneath a moron._ Naruto stared at Sasuke, who was currently in the state of thinking, and he was thinking about how Naruto was a moron.

_Say… I'm on top of Sasuke…_

"Hey hen head, I'm on top of you!" Naruto whispered to Sasuke, and Sasuke attempted to shove him off. Strangely enough, Naruto was resisting.

"…Blondie, why the hell are you still on me?" Sasuke tried shoving him off again. _Hmm… Sasuke looks kinda hot from this angle, _he pondered, getting lost in his thoughts. _If I just lean in a little bit more… _

Sasuke bewilderedly stared at the silent ape. _Did he just get closer? Must be my imagination… Wait, what the hell? Naruto definitely just got closer!!! OHGOD what do I _(penis) _do what do I do?! _He desperately thought. _Maybe just a good kick would do the trick…_ But, alas. Naruto's lips, only centimeters away, abruptly stopped when the passenger underneath resorted to… his last resort.

"T-TEMARI!!! HEY TEMARI HELP ME!" Sasuke cried out to the fan girl.

"Huh?? What did I miss?" The girl questioned while turning away from the ice cream stand nearby, and barely had time to catch a glimpse of Naruto quickly jumping off Sasuke.

"…Geez, Sasuke. You interrupted my ice cream time just because Naruto was on you? I already knew that!" Temari said while sweat-dropping.

_Eh?? How could she turn away from us like that? I thought she would be watching the whole thing with a video camera!_ Sasuke mentally yelled at her. _Maybe that whole thing with Naruto getting closer really was just my imagination…_ He couldn't help but feel disappointed.

Temari waved and got in her car.

"Byes guys, I hope I can wink _encourage_ both of you some time later," she laughed evilly and crashed through the hydrangea bushes.

"HEY!!! I worked for a whole week on those!!" yelled a random gardener wearing overalls.

Naruto and Sasuke stared after Temari's car. _Boy, she just destroys everything, doesn't she? _Naruto thought.

"So, um…" Sasuke looked in the other direction. "My ride won't be here for another half-hour, probably." He murmured. A sleek-looking car parked nearby, and they both heard music playin.

'You spin me right round, right round baby, like a record player…'

Kakashi-sensei emerged from the vehicle and stared at Sasuke and Naruto.

"Yo, Kakashi what's with the strange music?" Naruto waved.

"NO- you retard don't ask him about that song!!!" Sasuke screamed and dragged Naruto behind a column, hoping Kakashi didn't see them.

"Wait what? Why? What's wrong with it?" Naruto inquired.

"Just… Forget it," Sasuke mumbled and leaned against a wall. They were now in an alley; no one was present at the moment.

"Say, did you by chance try to… kiss me? In the mall?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. _Like that would happen…_ (Sasuke has now gotten it into his head that it indeed was his imagination) Naruto turned red.

"Um… well… There was something on your face… In a good way!" Naruto tried to think of a good excuse while flailing his arms.

"Right…" Sasuke looked confused. _Why is he blushing? Maybe… It wasn't all in my head after all!!... heheheh._ Sasuke thought, getting an idea. He neared Naruto and put his hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"Why did you try to kiss me?" Sasuke, now confident, asked.

"NO! What… Gave you that idea?" shifty-eyed, Naruto was blushing even more. Sasuke got even closer, teasing Naruto. His lips were almost touching Naruto's.

"Oh really now," Sasuke whispered, then suddenly pulled away. "Well, it was nice talking to you, I have to go." Sasuke walked off, leaving the shocked Naruto standing.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"ALRIGHT, CLASS!!! 100 LAPS AROUND THE TRACK, GO!"

_Oh God, Gai-sensei, again?!_ Naruto thought, sighing in despair along with the rest of the gym class. Only Rock-Lee seemed to show any excitement.

"All right! I'm going to do 200 laps, Gai-sensei!" The fuzzy eyebrows teeth sparkled and his thumb pointed up.

"Yeah, my youthful green beast! Make me proud!" Gai-sensei clenched a fist and wiped away a tear. Everyone else rolled their eyes and began the never-ending course around the track. Well, except Gaara. While everyone else jogged off into the distance, he walked around back behind the bleachers in the center of the track and back on towards the finish line. Gai-sensei stared in disbelief as the red-head sat down on the bench and crossed his arms.

"G-Gaara… MY NEW STAR PUPIL! WHAT AMAZING SPEED!" He thumbs-upped the uninterested teen. Rock-Lee came dashing up, sweating.

"WOW, YOU'RE GREAT, GAARA! EVEN BETTER THAN ME! PLEASE TEACH ME YOUR SECRET!"

Gaara sighed and shook his head; what a bunch of idiots.

Luckily the poor running students- now gasping for air- the bell rang and it was time for Iruka-sensei's science class. Of course, they had to be excused for being late from gym.

_Every day…!!! Those innocent boy-children come back from gym late! It's a wonder they haven't collapsed from exhaustion yet._ Iruka thought while letting the now baggy-eyed victims.

Naruto went straight to his desk and rested his head on the table. He was always tired after P.E., but once lunch rolled around he was back to normal, along with an enormous appetite. Naruto remembered something. _Oh yeah, today is—_

"Okay children, your Valentines projects are due today. Let's see what each group made," Iruka-sensei smiled and pulled out a pen.

"Well, he's awfully happy today," Naruto mumbled in Kiba's ear.

"Haha, I bet Kakashi-sensei promised him a special Valentine's present!" Kiba said and both of them laughed quietly. Iruka called the first group up, which consisted of Kiba and Shino. Their project was coke and mentos.

"And might I ask how that's romantic?" Iruka-sensei asked, annoyed.

"Well… Uh… there are little heart-shaped pieces of paper in it?" Iruka glared.

"OK EVERYONE, WATCH!!!" Kiba yelled and slammed the coke bottle full of mentos on the ground. Everyone stared. And stared.

"Hmm? Why isn't it working?!" Kiba exclaimed and walked up to the bottle. Of course it exploded all over him once he was right next to it. Everyone laughed and Kiba just went back to his seat.

"Ok, next to present is Sasuke and Naruto!" Iruka-sensei announced and went back to read a Valentine's note obviously from Kakashi (heheh).

"Oh, shift key!" Naruto cursed under his breath. "Quick, Sasuke! We need to think of something!"

"Gaah! You mean we didn't do it?!" The hen head growled back quietly. Naruto shook his head- they'd completely forgotten. He snatched up a piece of scrap paper with a hello kitty pattern from the floor.

"Sasuke, give me your pen!" And he hastily scribbled something on it.

"Naruto, Sasuke… Your project??" Iruka didn't bother to hide the impatience in his voice.

"We're coming!!" They hurriedly rushed to the front of the room, Sasuke rubbing his forehead on the way. _What are you doing, Naruto?_ He shot a look in the direction of his partner. Naruto, with an excited look on his face, handed the piece of paper to Iruka. _This will at least give us a C ,_ Naruto grinned.

"What… What is this?" Iruka glared.

"It's um… Well, actually I'm not sure. What is it, Naruto?" Sasuke twirled the pen in his hand.

"Our project, obviously!! Believe it!" Naruto exclaimed. It was a great project, too. Naruto grabbed Sasuke and dragged him back to his seat. "Trust me, Sasuke, this is going to work," Naruto whispered and then turned to face the teacher.

"Open it, Iruka-sensei!" Iruka slowly opened the crumpled up paper, and his jaw fell after scanning the messy writing. Naruto grinned evilly, but his behind Gaara's purse when Iruka threw a death glare at him. The poor teacher was turning red to blue, blue to green, and all the other colours people in mangas and animes can turn.

"What the hell did you write, Naruto?" Sasuke whispered, wondering what could make Iruka so nervous.

Note (on paper):

Iruka-sensei, Don't think I don't know what you do with Kakashi-sensei in the bathroom in between classes. If you don't want me to tell, give us at _least_ a B.

Believe it!

Naruto 3

Once Iruka's face had turned back to a healthy shade of red (wait, is that healthy?) he slowly sat back down, one hand clenched until his knuckles were white, and the other massaging his temple. "Naruto… You know what, never mind. NEXT GROUP!!!"

"How did you pull _that_ one off??" Kiba questioned in a hushed voice, both him and Sasuke looked stunned. Naruto scratched the back of his head and grinned.

"You see… There are some things I know that I don't think Iruka would--"

"So you black-mailed him, right?" Sasuke and Kiba sighed.

"Well it worked, didn't it? You should be happy, we could have gotten way worse!" _Ungrateful hen head…_ Naruto stuck his bottom lip out a bit, pouting. Sasuke noticed the chibi-fied blond, and began to wonder, _Does he remember that time, a week or so ago?_ Of course, Sasuke was thinking about when he thought Naruto was going to kiss him, but still believes it was his imagination. Maybe. _Well, I guess Naruto __**is **__a little cute, not to mention he has a nice butt…_ The words danced around in his mind, and the bell rang, so he got up to leave.

"Hey, I'll see you guys later, I need to stop by my locker for a se—YAGH!!!" Naruto jumped up a mile and turned around to see which sorry mutt had grabbed his holy seat (ahahahaha 'holy,' get it?), but only saw Sasuke.

"What's your problem, idiot?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Gah, did you see some loser come and grab me from behind?!" he frantically waved his arms, blushing slightly.

"From behind, or **the** behind?" Naruto blushed even harder, and Sasuke smirked while turning around. "Nope, sorry, I didn't see anybody." And with that he walked away, still chuckling to himself. It was kind of true, Sasuke couldn't exactly see himself, so… No harm done. He glanced at his hand. _… He's got an even better ass than Neji, which is saying something!_

Yes- Sasuke had felt Neji up at least **once, **but it was only because he had been forced.

By Neji.

WTF man??

Sasuke shuddered at the disturbing memories. At least Naruto can stop them from molesting him… _I wonder if he's interested in me,_ Sasuke thought, walking down the hallway.

At the end of school, a stampede approached the front door, and of course as some strange ritual Rock-Lee was the first out the door… And into the arms of Gai-sensei. Sasuke shuddered, observing this intimate moment as Rock-Lee described his day to Gai (in an excruciatingly painful manner), and Gai-sensei fought back tears.

"ROCK-LEE, YOU MAKE ME SO PROUD!!!" yelled Gai-sensei, now bursting out in tears. Suddenly, Naruto walking around the corner caught Sasuke's eye. He waved in Naruto's general direction. Naruto smiled and sped up.

_Okay, now I have to do this carefully, so it doesn't sound like I'm asking him on a date._ Sasuke took a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, Naruto." He said and glanced at the wall next to him. Naruto looked at Sasuke confused, surely he looked like he wanted to ask him something.

"Uh… If you want to tell me something hurry up, it's almost time for me to go," said Naruto, and slowly inched away from Sasuke's corner at car pool.

"Well um, I was thinking that we could go to the book store, because there was this book of depressing poetry that--" Sasuke mumbled and leaned backwards against the wall.

"Sasuke, that's a…" Naruto pointed to a "wet paint" sign hanging next to Sasuke.

"OH SHI--!!!" Sasuke flew off the wall and hid behind Naruto. "What am I going to do?!?!?!"

Naruto laughed and poked Sasuke's spiky hair. "There's some white on your hair… But I'm sure I can take you to my house so you can wash that paint off."

"Ah… Okay," Sasuke turned so his back was facing Naruto's back and they inched their way through the crowd.

--Rock-Lee walked up to the dark corner that Sasuke usually hung around. He was there to take the wet paint sign down. Suddenly, he noticed the Sasuke-print on the wall. His mouth fell open.

"WHAT-WHA-WHAT-W-WHAT… WHAT BEAUTIFUL ART!!!"—

The lock clicked and the door to Naruto's tiny apartment swung open. Surprisingly enough, it was actually pretty clean. The only place that brought any question was the kitchen, where a huge line of old ramen cups snaked their way around the counter and trailed across the fridge and other appliances.

Naruto noticed Sasuke staring and motioned towards the old cups. "Like my collection of ramen cups?? I have one for every different type!"

He couldn't believe it- Naruto actually seemed proud of the garbage.

"…Naruto, what's the point of that? Wouldn't your parents mind the overwhelming amount of Styrofoam?" Sasuke instantly regretted saying this, for Naruto turned away to hide his sad expression.

"I don't have any parents. They died when I was a baby. I was told they died trying to save thousands of people, but I don't really know anything else."

"Oh." Sasuke couldn't think of anything else to say, so he just settled for picking at a piece of dry paint on his shirt. The blond seemed way too happy to have had something like that happen.

Naruto waved a hand, "Enough of that, let's get this paint off of you." He led Sasuke to his sitting room, which connected straight to his kitchen. _So I guess he lives alone, I don't see any doors except the one to his bedroom, which is closed at the moment._ Naruto rummaged through a lower cabinet before turning to Sasuke.

"Hey, could you go to the bathroom- it's right through my room- and grab a towel while I get some hot water prepared? Thanks." And promptly began filling an empty tub with some water.

Sasuke had just turned the door knob to his room when Naruto nearly tripped on his own two feet trying to rush back to Sasuke, jumping in front of the door.

"WAIT!!!" He yelled, blocking the whole doorway with his body parts.

"D-don't go in there!!! Hold on a minute!" Naruto blushed madly and slipped in the door, revealing little as possible.

Sasuke sighed. _What is the idiot doing __**now**_ He could here vigorous rearrangement going on behind the wall. _Whatever, it's his business._ He glanced back at the door. _Ah, what the heck, I want to see what's going on. It could be a serious matter- drugs, alcohol, gay porn… Wait, I can't really say much myself about that last one._ Sasuke thought, remembering his well-hidden stash at his own apartment. He grabbed the handle and turned it, almost laughing at the scene before him.

Naruto, who was currently trying to shove a huge poster of Zach Effron in his closet and kick some Zach Effron pillows under his bed, tripped over a pair of Zach Effron boxers. The comforter on his bed was huddled in a pile, covered by an orange blanket. They must be Zach Effron, too. Even the carpet was freakin' Zach Effrons face, printed over and over again.

"AAH! Sa-Sasuke, ah ha ha!" Naruto laughed nervously. "What brings you in here? Didn't I say you could wait outside?" Naruto really hoped the blush would go away on his face, and take Sasuke with it out of his room.

The hen head walked calmly over to his bed and picked up his pillow.

"I never knew you had such a strong feeling for this guy." He looked at Naruto.

"W-well, I-I… Kind of…" The blond sputtered out. Sasuke fingered a square lump under the pillowcase, and pulled out whatever it was. He could feel the blood rushing to his face as he took in the sight before him; he could even feel something stirring in his lower part.

"GAAH NOOO!!!" Naruto lunged at Sasuke, who just stood there still staring at the picture, thus allowing Naruto to snatch it away.

Naruto's heart thumped madly as he clutched to photo to his chest. A photo of the naked (and in Naruto's, and maybe Sasuke's opinion, very sexy) Zach Effron.

"Naruto… What _was_ that? Don't tell me you use it to… Oh, God." Despite the situation, Naruto managed to chuckle.

"Looks like I'm not the only one turned on by Zach." Naruto motioned down Sasuke.

"What're you—HOLYCUBICLES!" Sasuke's face glowed red as he jumped towards the bathroom. He had to admit though, Naruto had good taste when it came to those kinds of things. Not saying Zach Effron, the prince of **young girl's** dreams, was a nice choice, but that picture was really, **really**, good. _Wait a minute. If he has a picture like __**that**__, does it mean Naruto is gay??_

Sasuke sighed as he finished his business and flushed the toilet. _Only time will tell…_

He emerged to find Naruto waiting with the water, paint thinner, and towels. _Oh right, my whole backside is covered in white paint._ The commotion from previous events had made him forget.

Naruto groaned painfully when he saw the back of Sasuke's paint covered shirt. "Well, I guess we can start by trying to wash your clothes. You can borrow mine while we wait.

He disappeared into his room to retrieve a bright orange shirt and a pair of tight skater pants.

Sasuke eyed the clothes skeptically. "You like to wear this kind of stuff?" He understood the shirt, it was Naruto's favorite colour, but the super tight pants?

Naruto pouted, "Hey, those pants are actually quite nice and form fitting!" _Yep, he's definitely gay, or close to it._ Sasuke thought about his own sexuality. _Well, I am too, but I've never worn queer clothes before. Except that one time, but that doesn't count._ Sasuke changed quickly, trying not to shower Naruto's carpet with dried paint chips.

He looked at him self in the mirror. _The orange looks terrible… But I think I do like these pants._ He grabbed his own clothes and handed them off to Naruto.

"Hey blondie, where did you get these pants?" Hell yeah, he was going to buy his own pair.

Naruto grinned slyly. "Did you find yourself liking those? Heh, Dehlia's is the place."

Sasuke's jaw dropped. That was a girl store!

"D-Dehlia's??"

"Yeah, but you can have those if you want, they got a little too big for me after I went on a diet. A _ramen_ diet." Sasuke couldn't help but wonder how that would make a person lose weight. Also, did Naruto have a job or something? He must support himself somehow…

"Anyway, thanks."

Naruto flashed another smile. "No problem. Now, let's see about his paint in your hair…"

After some struggling and major hair loss, the last of the paint was out. Naruto threw Sasuke a dry towel. "This is to dry your hair, which looks really weird without all that gel, and I'll go check on your clothes in the dryer."

The raven growled as the blond disappeared from sight, and dabbed at his scalp. Naruto returned minutes later with Sasuke's clothes in hand.

"Well, there's still a faint stain, but it isn't too noticeable.

"That's fine," Sasuke quickly took off the suffocatingly orange shirt, and replaced it with his dark blue one, now with a slight white tint, but left on the pants. Naruto took back the shirt and glanced at the clock, his stomach had spoken to him.

"WOAH! It's already 7:47! Do your parents know where you are?! They must be worried sick!" Apparently taking out the paint had taken longer than expected.

"Calm down, Naruto, it's alright. My parents died when I was seven, so I live alone nobody's going to worry bout me." Sasuke didn't seem very upset about his parents, or he just didn't show it.

"I see… Wow, we're just alike! Neither of us have parents, and we live alone."

"Yeah, I guess. By the way, thanks for… Everything." Naruto smiled widely.

"Sure, any time hen head! I feel we can start on the right track from now on. Hey, what do you say to us lonely guys going to get some ramen together??"

Sasuke managed a small smile back; the guy obviously seemed very excited about meeting someone with a similar background to his.

"Um… Sure."

"All right!" Naruto clenched a fist. "It's always more fun to eat dinner with a friend!"

Sasuke really did smile at this. He, Uchiha Sasuke, had just made a friend. Not a Neji or a Gaara, but an actual friend (who's also very cute). And it felt good.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naruto got up from the ground and rubbed the back of his head. He had just gotten fired. "WELL YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO THROW ME, I COULD WALK OUT MYSELF!!!" he bellowed at the front entrance of a grocery store (which is probably the only grocery store in Konoha).

"Hey blond-head, what are you doing on the ground?" Naruto looked upwards and squirmed because the sun shined in his eyes. When he finally got used to the bright glaring light, he saw a longhaired figure standing over him with their hair flowing majestically in the wind.

"Neji? Why are you here and not stalking Sasuke?"

"Oh well um, I noticed you hanging around Sasuke a lot," Neji's eyes gleamed with a hint of jealousy.

"Well yes, we're good friends," Naruto noticed the gleam in Neji's eyes and decided to tease him. "Actually, we're **really** good friends. B.F.F.s."

"WELL, he's mine and Gaara's," Neji scoffed.

"Huh? He doesn't even like you people," Naruto scrambled up and dusted off his sparkly rainbow pants.

"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT, we're his posse," Neji sobbed and crossed his arms. Naruto raised one eyebrow.

Meanwhile, Gaara sat in the bushes by the store, observing the situation. _Hm, Naruto has no right to talk to Neji like that…_ Gaara suddenly realized what he had just thought and blushed. _Not that I care…_

Naruto was getting annoyed by Neji.

"It just happens to be that Sasuke asked me to go read depressing poetry with him,"

he bragged, sticking out his tongue.

"AHH!" the beautiful haired kid squealed, "he never asked ME to read poetry with him!" Neji dove behind a nearby bush crying, when suddenly he crashed into something on the other side.

"GAARA? How do you always show up in the strangest places?" sobbed the fair-haired boy and clung onto the red head. Naruto shook his head and headed toward the bookstore; surely Sasuke was reading there or something… Maybe he could help him with his problem.

Over the period of two or three weeks previous, Naruto had gotten a habit of asking Sasuke for help for all of his problems. Sasuke was helpful, sympathetical, and most of all he fun to stare at while he was explaining things. Naruto licked his lips and started walking in a gay fashion, his fists up near his chest moving up and down wildly, and his butt swinging from side to side. Some women behind him stared, slightly disturbed.

He burst through the door of the bookstore, called Book's Readalot, and saw Sasuke wide-eyed about to put a book on a shelf. Sasuke dropped the book in surprise, but then quickly snatched it up from the blood-red carpet.

The blond-head looked around noticing that the store was more light and cheery than he had expected. The walls were a relaxing blue shade with crisp white trim, and beautiful architectural details. The bookshelves were black and the ceiling and floor crimson red.

Naruto knew he had been watching too many interior design shows. He pranced up to the still shocked Uchiha and grabbed the book out of his hands.

" 'Depressing Screenplays' by EmoMcRomance," Naruto read out loud and scoffed.

"Shh, not so loud!" Sasuke whispered and put a finger on Naruto's mouth. Naruto blushed insanely and took a couple of steps backwards, almost tumbling over a stack of Mary Kate and Ashley book.

"Ahem. Anyways, I just got fired, hen head," chuckled Naruto and inconspicuously eyed the girly books he just tripped over.

"Oh um, for what?" Sasuke said, putting more books on the shelves.

"Eating ramen off the shelves in the grocery store, and I can't find another job."

"Right… Wait! How about you work here?" Sasuke put his books down and ran towards a back room, "I'll ask my boss!"

"Wait, you work here?" Naruto said and glanced back at the stack of books on the floor.

"Yeah!" Sasuke's yell faded out as he shut the door. A couple of minutes later he emerged with a uniform. Naruto quickly hid a bag of purchased books behinds his back.

"Um… Ok, thanks! I have to go get something from my house now!" Naruto chattered and ran off. Sasuke stared after the nervous blond. _He really is cute,_ Sasuke thought to himself and cleared his throat to avoid giggling at Naruto's silliness.

He was in the middle of ordering some specially ordered books when Naruto came dashing back, afraid to get fired again before even starting. The raven looked up from his work.

"Naruto, the boss is waiting in the back for you to do an interview." Naruto nodded.

"Thanks, Sasuke!"

"Sure. Good luck." Naruto waved as he disappeared behind the door to the manager's lair. An old man around the age of fifty with long, spiky white hair waited with a clipboard. Naruto noticed a red toad key chain hanging off it. The toad man, _hey, even resembles a toad a little bit, _gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm Jiraiya, the manager, and you can just sit down here while I ask you a few questions…" He motioned to a blue swivel across from him.

"Ah, okay," Naruto placed the uniform under the chair and sat down.

Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "And your name is…?"

"Oh, right! I'm Uzumaki Naruto, believe it!" The blond grinned cheekily and thumbs-upped the toad man.

"Alrighty then, Naruto. First question: Have you ever had a job before?" He was already writing something on the clipboard.

"Yes sir, I used to work at a grocery store, but got fired for eating the ramen on the shelves." Jiraiya stopped whatever he was writing and laughed.

"You're a man after my own heart! I used to get fired for all kinds of things like that. Okay, next. Your age, birthday, and favorite colour."

"Um 17, October 10, and… Orange?" Naruto was somewhat confused about the colour thing.

"What's the average velocity of a Swallow carrying a coconut?"

"African or European Swallow?" The questioned just kept getting weirder and weirder.

"Good question." Jiraiya marked something else down.

"You find a hobo on the street. What do you do?"

"Say 'hello' and give him my newspaper."

"What is the capitol of Malaysia?"

"Um… Quebec?"

"What do you think of bagels?"

"They're hot and sexy."

"If you were in love with your best friend, but you didn't think they liked you back, how would you handle the situation?" Naruto had to think about that for a minute.

"I would probably just come out and say my feelings, hoping for a good turn out."

"You say this knowing you might never speak to this friend again if the friendship breaks?"

"I-I guess… But if it were a true friend, then he wouldn't leave like that."

Jiraiya looked at him strangely, "… He?" Naruto blushed and laughed nervously.

"A heh… You know, just as a generic term… I meant she, honestly!" Jiraiya sighed and scribbled some more down.

"Right. Okay, I like you, you can have the job." The sunshine coloured head of hair stared in disbelief.

"EH?! Just as simple as that??"

"Sure, why not? I'm too lazy to think of any other questions. You may begin work now. I'll leave your schedule at the front cashier, so don't forget to grab it in about fifteen minutes."

"Th-thanks," Naruto stood up and bowed, catching a glimpse of what was on the clipboard. _What? The only thing I see on that clipboard is a bunch of doodles of big-boobed women! _He pointed at the paper, "Y-you pervert! What's with all the doodles?! Did you not write down anything I said at all?"

The perverted toad man looked down at his paper and scratched his head. "It's… It's inspiration for my books!!!"

Naruto eyed him suspiciously before walking out the office. "Whatever." He shook his head and, uniform in hand, made his way back towards the anxious Uchiha. Relief spread through Sasuke's face as the blond walked up grinning and waving the uniform.

"How'd it go?" Sasuke scanned a book for a customer, ringing up the total.

"Great! But… That Jiraiya guy is really strange. He doodled porno girls while interviewing me, and didn't tell me anything about the store! How am I supposed to know what to do?"

Sasuke murmured thanks to the eavesdropping customer, and came around from behind the counter, placing a 'closed' sign in plain view of people passing by. "Here, throw on your uniform and I'll show you around." Naruto pulled the apron-like thing over his head and hurriedly followed his friend around the store, trying to remember every little detail.

They were almost done with the tour when Sasuke noticed the overwhelmed look on Naruto's face. "Don't worry, after working here a few days, you'll learn everything. You're a fast learner, so work here will be a breeze in no time." A smile was returned for the compliment.

"As long as you're here to help, I'm sure it'll all work out!" The convincingly unemotional Uchiha blushed slightly and rounded the corner, coughing to shake off the awkward feeling.

"And this is the… Um… Gay and lesbian section." His voice wavered a bit with the last part.

"I see." Naruto glanced over the books, trying not to get too distracted, but one in particular caught his eye. "What is this…? 'Hot Cops??'" He grabbed the book, and his eye twitched involuntarily. On the cover of 'Hot Cops' was a policeman, muscular and smirking seductively at the viewers. Sasuke looked over Naruto's shoulder.

"Things that turn on Naruto: Zach Effron and muscular police men. Anything else I should know about?"

Naruto jumped up and nearly dropped the book on his foot. "Th-that's not true!!! About the police men!" Sasuke smirked at the cute foxish red face.

"But you don't deny Zach Effron, right?" Wow, he was fun to tease.

"Sasuke! He turns you on, too! You know it!" he said in protest, but still not denying the movie star at all.

The more mature teen grumbled at the memory. How embarrassing.

"Ok, fine, but at least I don't keep his naked picture in my pillow to practice my kissing on." Naruto's skin now resembled that of a tomato's.

"I-I don't need to practice my kissing!"

"Oh? So you've actually had experience kissing a girl, one who was willing?" Sasuke used the gender 'girl' to test out Naruto's sex preference. He knew Naruto wouldn't lie about something like that; he was too honest.

"W-well, not exactly…" Naruto hesitated, for a very bad feeling had settled in his stomach.

Bingo.

"Then… It was a guy, right?" The victim of Sasuke's torture choked on his own spit, but quickly regained his composure.

"And what if I said it was?" If Sasuke wanted to wage a war with him because of his kissing engagements, then bring it on!

Sasuke took a deep breath to calm himself. "Nothing in particular. Just wondering if you were willing to admit it. No girl would have wanted to kiss you, anyway. You probably suck at it."

Naruto forced a strained smile. "Oh yeah, I suck really _well_, too." _Shoot, he turned my insult into a compliment!_ Sasuke had opened his mouth to say something in return, but was roughly grabbed from the front of his work apron and had Naruto's lips forced upon his own. Sasuke's heart fluttered and his eyes widened. Forgetting it was just a demonstration for proving him wrong; he pushed back into the kiss, groping at Naruto's mouth with a hand traveling up his back and around his neck. The blond boy had just licked the raven-head's lip to begin sucking on it when they were both interrupted from behind.

"So Naruto, I see you got a boyfriend?" Kiba smirked, poking Naruto's head.

"WHAT? NO.. I mean.. not really," Naruto blushed and corrected himself glancing over to Sasuke hoping he'd react. Sasuke quietly pulled himself together and glared at the new kid.

"No dogs allowed in the bookstore," he calmly said and glared at the tiny not-very-cleverly disguised dog hiding in Kiba's hood.

"CRAP AKAMARU WE"VE BEEN FOUND OUT!!" the dog-lover pulled his hood tighter around his head and dashed out of Book's Readalot. _Hmm, well at least I got me revenge,_ Sasuke pouted, missing the kiss already. Naruto looked somewhat disappointed.

"OH! I'm supposed to get my schedule," said the blond-head and also dashed off.

"Gah, this is just not my day," Sasuke shook his head and headed towards the bathroom. He was going to make plans on how to get Naruto alone again, whatever it takes, but first he had to get rid of THAT. Sasuke looked down at his pants. _I blame the hot cops._

Naruto sighed as he picked up his schedule

"So many things to do," the fox-boy headed towards the endless rows of bookshelves.. this was going to take a long time. Another worker sympathetically frowned at him. _Maybe working here was a bad idea..._ Naruto turned his head just in time to get a glance of Sasuke speed walking towards the bathroom. _So I am a good kisser,_ he smiled and touched his lips, _I have got to do that again, but actually seriously._

Sasuke emerged a couple of minutes later out of the bathroom. _That took me waay longer than it usually does. _The Uchiha noticed that Naruto was having difficulties and pulled on his shirt collar. Sasuke nervously edged towards the source of all his awkwardness and hoped nobody could see him blushing. Naruto just glanced at him and smiled casually. _Well I guess the kiss didn't mean anything to him... well it was just a way to prove himself right, why would it mean anything,_ Sasuke took a deep breath and strolled in the opposite direction to the cash registers, leaving poor Naruto with a truck-load of misplaced books he had to put back into place.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"HEY EVERYBODY NARUTO HAS A BOYFRIEEEND!!!" Kiba ran around the street outside Book's Readalot yelling the false news.

"KIBA SHUT UP THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Naruto sprinted out the front door, jumping at Kiba and shoving a hand over his mouth.

"Mmnf!" Temari just so happened to be walking by at that moment.

"What's all this about??" Kiba stuck out his tongue.

"YUCK! Kiba you sicko, you licked my hand!" Naruto waved it around as if trying to disinfect the germs, giving Kiba the opportunity to say the information he needed.

"Naruto was in the store kiss--"

"GAAH!! No, don't tell her, idiot!" He once again lunged at Kiba, knocking him to the ground. Temari pulled out her purple fan, smirking into it.

"Oh, Naruto admits he was kissing a guy, but just doesn't want **me** to know? I wonder why…" Though she practically already knew who that _guy_ was. The blood rushed to Naruto's face.

"I was just proving to the hen head that I was a good kisser! Ask Kiba, he knows about my abilities." Though Naruto didn't really have a chance to fully unleash his kissing demon, he figured Sasuke had gotten the picture. _He __**did**__ rush off to the bathroom after that._ Naruto chuckled to himself.

Kiba blushed lightly, "Well, I have to admit, it **was** pretty good…" He stated while rubbing his chin.

The fan girl put down her fan, holding it by her side. "Just wondering, but… Why were you and Kiba, you know, in the park that one time?"

Naruto shrugged. "We were just curious, I guess." There was no lie in this statement. Kiba and him were friends, nothing more. He thought about Sasuke. _My friendship with him is different than with Kiba. It feels deeper, more understanding or something._

He breathed in and shook his head. "I've got to get back to work, guys. See you around." He waved and turned to return to the job of sorting books. Temari and Kiba waved goodbye also, walking off to look at some holographic kitty stickers displayed in a window.

Naruto cracked his knuckles and pulled out his work schedule. _I wonder what Sasuke's schedule is…_ He waltzed over to where the dark-haired teen sat reading the 'Depressing Screenplays' book.

"Hey hen head, shouldn't you be working?" Naruto put his hands on his hips and looked down at the book-absorbed guy.

"I'm on break," he simply stated, not looking up from his page.

"Okay. Oh, do you have your schedule? I want to see if we ever work together." The blond fingered the string ties on his apron. Why did it seem so awkward asking him that?

Sasuke pulled a crumpled piece of paper out from his back pocket and tossed it to him, his eyes _still_ glued to the book.

"Um… Thanks." Naruto smoothed out the paper and compared. "Hey we work at the same time on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and next Saturday. Sundays are off days for me." _Boy, those days without Sasuke will sure be long… At least we've still got school._ Naruto sighed and looked at his unresponsive friend, who had merely muttered a 'hn.'

He pulled up a chair and sat next to Sasuke. "That book must be really interesting." Sasuke finally placed a Pikachu-patterned bookmark in the screenplay book and glanced up at Naruto.

"I want to be an actor one day." Naruto's eyes almost bulged out of his head.

"That's… An interesting job," mumbled Naruto and scratched the back of his head.

"Well um, I always wanted to be a cook," Naruto said and clenched a fist.

"I don't think that's a good idea…" Sasuke replied, remembering the train of old ramen cups in his kitchen.

"Well, why do you want to be an actor anyway?" Sasuke smiled a genuine smile.

"You can be any one or anything you want. You can be an animal, a tree, or even a fag." Some question aroused at the last one, but Naruto dismissed it.

"Hm, sounds fun. I might look into it."

"Here, you can borrow my 'Beginners Guide to Acting,' if you want." Sasuke reached into his bag and pulled out the battered book.

"You carry it around with you? You must really like it…" It was obviously so torn up because of the number of times it was read by Sasuke. "Thanks, hen head!" He took the book carefully and began heading back to the books he was sorting. "I've got to get back to work, so I'll read it later."

"Okay." Sasuke also got up to return to the cash register.

Naruto thumbed through the book, and instantly landed on a page that had been opened many times. _Hm? What's this-- EH?!_ Naruto stopped dead in his tracks. "HOW TO MAKE REALISTIC SEX NOISES?!" He yelled a little too loudly. All the people around him stared, their eyes bugging out. Naruto blushed and hid his face behind the book. _Why would Sasuke want to look at that page so much?_

Naruto waved goodbye to Sasuke. "You better AIM me later tonight!" he called over his shoulder.

"Sure," was the response from the raven. Naruto slung his work apron over his shoulder and headed back towards his apartment, he couldn't afford a car. He rounded the corner and climbed the stairs leading up to his humble abode.

"Ah, home, sweet home!" He switched on the light and threw the apron over a kitchen chair, tacking his work schedule to the refrigerator. He had already eaten dinner at work, they had (to his pleasure) a small Starbucks (coffee shop) section with some food in it.

He clicked on the monitor to his computer and smiled. Sasuke was on AIM, just like Naruto asked. Fingers clacked on the keyboard, engaging the other user in a chat.

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _hey hen head u actually came._

ripslashslashbleeddie72: _I generally keep my word, blondie._

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _so… what r u doing?_

ripslashslashbleeddie72: _Investigating drama colleges._

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _lol i havent even thought about college yet._

ripslashslashbleeddie72: _You should, there's only a few months of school left. It's already March._

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _true… but truth is i dont know what i want 2 do when i grow up._

ripslashslashbleeddie72: _You'll find it one day, hopefully soon. You could always cook, like you wanted._

Naruto rubbed a slightly tired eye. He would do that, but… He didn't like the thought of being separated from Sasuke forever after this school year. _Oh shoot! This year is almost over!_ He began to panic, and stole a glance at the 'Beginners Guide to Acting.' _I really should read that book._

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _i dunno. maybe ill look a little more into acting like u said. it really does sound interesting._

ripslashslashbleeddie72: _That's great. Oh, remember that song Kakashi had playing in his car a few weeks ago?_

Sasuke sighed. He really hoped Naruto would like acting enough to go to a drama college. _The same college as me_. He really did like Naruto a lot, and blushed at the thought.

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _oh r u finally going to tell me y u said not 2 ask about it?_

ripslashslashbleeddie72: _Yeah. Go to this website and see for yourself; meatspin (dot com)._

He leaned back in his chair and waited for Naruto to go to the site and respond. He waited. And waited. And waited. _Gah, what's taking him so long? I think I only got through about forty-five spins, which doesn't take that long._ He got up to go pour some grape juice and grab his book. He came back, and Naruto _still_ hadn't replied. After reading for about 11 minutes and 62 seconds (wait, what?) Naruto finally typed back a shaky message.

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _1201 spins… wow that was disturbing. i dont think ill b able 2 sleep 2nite._

Sasuke's eye twitched. 1,201… How did he do it?!

ripslashslashbleeddie72: _Impressive. I only got to forty-five._

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _lol that means we r both officially gay XD_

You just don't know how true that is, Naruto.

ripslashslashbleeddie72: _I guess. Oh, it's getting late. I'm going to go on to bed. Talk to you later._

foxyblondzacheffronlover101: _k bye._

ripslashslashbleeddie72 has logged out.

Naruto looked at the clock. It was only eleven! _Ah well, to each his own._ He rolled back his chair and stretched. _Might as well read that book, I can never sleep at this time on a weekend._ He flipped open to the first page and began.

The clocked turned 7:30 am, flipping on the buzzer that awoke Naruto for school. He groaned and rolled out of bed, wishing to go back to sleep. He had stayed up late the previous night trying to finish the book Sasuke had given him on Saturday. Today was Monday, and it was a 700-page book on learning how to be an actor. The book had grabbed Naruto's attention from the start, so he read it nonstop until he at last finished it at 3:29 this morning, and he was definitely feeling it today, too.

He just lay on the floor until his stomach complained to him. Grunting, he slowly pulled himself up and stumbled to the bathroom for teeth brushing. He never brushed his hair, so why start now?

Face washed, breakfast eaten, pants on, the five-minute journey to school began. Naruto pulled on his neon orange jacket and threw his bag over his shoulder, preparing himself. Oh, did I mention the five-minute journey included running full-speed, and school started in 4.5 minutes?

The messy-haired blond inhaled deeply and took off, sprinting like a mad man. Some innocent pedestrians stared as he passed. _What, have they never seen a kid run this fast before?_ Naruto grinned smugly and puffed out his chest, pumping his fists harder. He reached the front of the school, breathing heavily, and skipped up the stairs four at a time.

Bursting through the school doors, he headed towards Kakashi's class. Kakashi was always late, Naruto knew that, but it seemed whenever Naruto was late, Kakashi was on time, so he just tried to make it before the bell.

And he did. He huffed and puffed, trying to regain the original amount of air back into his lungs. The bell rang, Kakashi not being there, and Sasuke (followed by Gaara and Neji) made his way over to the lucky human.

Amusement flickered in the dark-haired teen's eyes when he looked at Naruto, despite Neji going on and on in the background about how many times he brushed his hair last night.

"Morning, Naruto. Did you uh… Have some difficulties this morning? With your brain?" Sasuke glanced again at the source of his amusement.

"What're you--? Oh." Naruto looked down and scratched his head. How did his pants get on backwards?

Sasuke snickered at the bewildered look on Naruto's face.

"It's amazing that you can come all this way and _still _not realize you were wearing your clothes the wrong way. Idiot." Sasuke bopped Naruto on the head with a fist.

"Ow! HEY, it was because I was trying to finish that book you gave me, you chicken butt-shaped head kid!" Naruto pounced, poking him rather hard in every area he could reach above the waist, getting called rather crude names by the victim. Quite on the contrary, Sasuke's insides we're giggling for joy. _He read the whole thing! That's a good sign._

Kiba looked at the scene and sneaked over to where Gaara was standing. Surprisingly, neither Gaara nor Neji tried to stop Naruto from attacking their beloved Sasuke.

There was still a tiny hint of jealousy in their eyes, however.

"Say, would you like to make a bet?" the dog-boy asked, elbowing Gaara. "I bet that by the end of this month those two," he pointed at the boys struggling on the floor, "will be going out by the end of the month. How about it?"

"Hmm," Gaara considered all the facts. Him and Neji were hardly part of Sasuke's vision anymore. He pulled out some money.

"Noo, not for money. It has to be something embarrassing like…" Kiba thought for a little while. "LIKE SEXY-NO-JUTSU!"

Gaara got wide-eyed.

"What did you say?"

"You know, that thing Naruto always does. Whoever loses has to do sexy-no-jutsu and run around the school."

Gaara thought to himself for a moment before nodding his head. _If I lose, I'll just kill him._ He thought and walked off.

Kakashi finally came back, after about twenty-five minutes into class, and called everybody's attention. "CHILDREN this is history class, as I hope you all ready know, and it's time for another project.

Many groans were received for the news.

"I like to call it 'Mass Group Projects.' A group of five to seven of you get together and make something. You'll probably have to meet after school some time to get it finished, though."

A sickly looking child raised his hand. "B-but sir, what is the project we're supposed to be making?"

Kakashi-sensei stroked his masked chin, thinking about it. Then he smiled happily and simply said, "I have no clue. The group decides. It must relate to the chapter we're studying, and bonus will be for creativity. Now go, get into groups."

Naruto hung his head; that was Kakashi for you. The students scrambled around, trying to get in groups with all their friends. Of course Neji and Gaara were in a group with Sasuke. Not wanting to leave them along, Naruto joined. Soon Kiba followed behind, along with Shino and Rock-Lee.

"Okay, I think we have enough team members already," Sasuke didn't really like working in large groups. The fuzzy-eyebrows punched to air.

"All right, my partners of youth! The more the merrier! HEY, COME JOIN OUR GROUP EVERYBOD-- YAGH!!!" Rock-Lee was restrained to the ground by several of the people in the group.

"Enough of that, eyebrows man." Kiba glared at the overly excited juvenile.

"Great, I have to work with this guy!"

"Somebody file a restraining order against him!"

Naruto massaged his brain; this would be very difficult.

"Okay guys, since class is almost over already, we should decide a place to meet and get started on this." Everyone thought for a moment.

"It'll have to be this weekend, I'm busy this week."

"You people aren't coming over to my house, that would be too unsanitary!"

"I vote we go to Naruto's apartment!"

"Oh, Naruto has an apartment? It's decided then!"

"YOOUUUTH!!!"

"Wait, what? I never said you could come to my place!" Naruto panicked, he had never had anyone over before except Sasuke when he had paint in his hair.

"Oh well, we're coming anyways." The blonde's nostrils flared, he hadn't agreed to anything!

Sasuke shrugged apologetically to Naruto as the rest of the team went off to discuss the latest updates on Runescape. "Sorry about that. Do you want me to help you clean?"

Naruto smiled his foxy smile. "Sure, thank you. It might not be too bad…" He would find out soon enough.

"Oh, hey Kakashi-sensei? When exactly is the project due?"

"Hm?" the teacher looked up from the perverted book he was reading. "Oh, it'll be due… Next Tuesday. No, Wednesday. Well, maybe Monday. I don't really care, just sometime next week."

Again with the Kakashi-ness. Tears streamed down Naruto's face as he hit his head against the wall. Will this madness ever end?!


	5. Chapter 5

**(A/N): Hello, this is Benjamin and Franklin!! Sorry if you waited a while for this chapter, but it's the longest one we've written yet, so please be happy. **

**Disclaimers are in our profile. That is all.**

CHAPTER FIVE!!

Sasuke grimaced and walked into Naruto's room, expecting the worst. Scanning the living quarters, he blinked in surprise. It was sparkling.

"Naruto, I'm impressed. It's actually clean in here; you even put up your clothes."

"Yep! I did it all by myself, too!" the joy-filled blond beamed at the praise. Sasuke walked around, inspecting every corner until he was satisfied. He pulled the neon orange blanket covered chair out from Naruto's desk and sat down.

Wait a minute.

He stood up again, lifting the blanket off. "… Blondie, you lazy asteroid!!" He turned towards the fox boy and motioned at the assortment of clothes strategically placed to fit the shape of the chair.

"Oh, ah ha ha ha… I must've missed that…" Naruto scratched the back of his ankle with the opposite foot.

"Sure you did," Sasuke grabbed an armful of clothes and began to walk to his hopeless friend. Somewhere in that insanely huge pile of shirts and pants was a scarf. This particular scarf had a habit of eating people. In this case, it tried to munch on Sasuke's leg, wrapping itself around it multiple times.

"Wah!" the dark eyed guy grunted shortly before falling flat on his face, clothes exploding everywhere like a confetti celebration.

He just lay there sprawled out and face down on the carpet, staring straight at Zach Effron's printed face.

"Um, Sasuke?" Naruto poked the seemingly dead body with his foot. He still didn't move. Naruto then proceeded to roll over the limp doll, using his foot again.

Sasuke, on his back, scowled up at the blond, a red carpet burn on his forehead. "… I hate your scarf, Naruto."

Naruto stared at him. Then suddenly started giggling.

Sasuke continued frowning for a moment, then smiled and let in a few chuckles himself.

Before they knew it, they were both giggling insanely, a really girly high-pitched giggling. After some time of the side-clutching giggles, they slowed down a bit to catch their breaths.

"H-Hey Naruto, hee hee, w-why are we giggling?"

"Tee hee hee ha.. I-I don't really know." And they burst into another giggle-fit. They heard a knock on the door and cleared their throats.

"Oh, that must be Kiba," Naruto poked his head into the living room. He pranced up to the door and pried it open.

"Finally," Kiba breathed out and collapsed onto the floor. Their entire group was sitting in the cramped hallway, looking awfully bored. Rock Lee was yelling random youthful things down the stairs after a freaked-out neighbor, Neji was brushing his hair repeatedly, and Gaara and Shino were both sleeping on the ground.

"Uh, how long were you out here?" Sasuke whispered, looking out the door.

"Oh you know, a couple of HOURS!!" Kiba flailed his arms, glaring.

"Did it take us that long to clean the room?" squinted Naruto. He then flung open the front door and announced that the apartment was open for visitors. The crowd of young delinquents slowly flooded in the living room, and everyone attempted to sit on the couch. Which was a love seat. Kiba rolled off of the back of the couch. Rock Lee knocked him off accidentally, and his face smashed into some sort of paper. He pulled himself up and looked at the suspicious corner of a poster. Kiba pulled out the poster and everyone fell off the couch as he roared with laughter.

"ZACH EFFRON??" Kiba tried to exclaim while laughing. All the eyes in the room were suddenly on Naruto.

"Oh, well you know, Sasuke brought it along, it's his!!" Sasuke's mouth fell open.

"I have nothing to do with this!" Sasuke was bright red, and he was hitting Naruto on the head with a spatula he had discovered on the counter in the kitchen.

"Ow! Hey, what was that for?! You don't even cook because you're gone out all day to work!"

"Well maybe if you'd be nicer and iron my clothes for me I would have more time at home!" The rest of the friends watched the oblivious guys roll around on the couch bantering.

"… Alright you guys, stop acting like a newly wed couple and let's start on this project!" Kiba looked annoyed but amused at the same time. Naruto and Sasuke both blushed and quickly jumped off each other.

Shino waved his arms around to call order to the group, "gather around, children! We need to get the project done, now!!" Everyone else sighed and agreed that they should get started.

First, they had to decide exactly **what** the project was, which was difficult because about seven different people all wanted to do something different. Neji wanted to do a Roman fashion magazine, Gaara wanted to do a clay sculpture of Cincinnatus, Kiba insisted on a poster (it was the easiest), Shino mumbled something about a book, Rock Lee was yelling that making a city of youth and prosperity from flower print origami paper was the best, while Sasuke wanted to film a movie on one of the Roman plays.

Naruto, also now into acting, agreed with Sasuke. Neji and Gaara, still trying to be in the raven's favour, also fervently joined the movie group. Four out of seven was majority, so movie it was.

Although instead of a play, it would just be a documentary randomly showing scenes from the past.

"Kiba can be the Narrator, and then the rest of us can fill in as other people," Sasuke began delving out parts to the cast.

"Shino can be Octavian. Kiba can also be Julius Caesar, who was a dictator of Rome." He looked down at the list of roles that needed to be played. "Neji and Gaara can be Romulus and Remus, the brothers who founded Rome. Rock Lee can be the Greek Goddess Hera, who's godly power was Marriage. Naruto--"

"Hey wait a minute! Why am I the Greek Goddess Hera?!" Rock Lee furrowed his large eyebrows at Sasuke. Actually, Sasuke had no clue what part Hera would play in all of this. Oh well.

"Well, you see… Hera was very youthful and unified beautiful young couples under the sunset!" at Sasuke's words Rock Lee brightened. A lot.

"YEAH! I get the youthfulness!!"

"Ahem. Back to assignments. I will be Antony, who falls in love with Cleopatra VII. We later kill ourselves together." Realization dawned on him. The last person on the list-Cleopatra- was a girl. They were all guys.

"Um… Anyone up for playing the role of Cleopatra? Neji?" This was the first thing that came to mind, probably because Neji was the least manly of them.

"HELL no. Get someone else, that's too girly for me," Neji turned around and resumed filing his nails.

"Gaara?" All he got was a death glare.

Shino was quite out of the question. Sasuke's gaze turned to Kiba, who just shook his head and walked away, spouting some nonsense about already being Narrator.

Rock Lee punched the air, "don't worry Sasuke, I'll be Cleopatra for you!!" He pirouetted over to the Uchiha, arms outstretched.

"NO." Sasuke smacked Lee's head against the wall.

"Oh hey Sasuke, what about Naruto??" Kiba pointed at the obvious blond trying to hide under a branch of his fake house plant.

"Yeah, that's a great idea, he doesn't have a part yet!" Bushy-brows exclaimed while dragging out the pouting fox from his not-so-inconspicuous hiding place. _A woman's role, of all things!_

Sasuke looked down at Naruto on the floor. "Well, if you don't mind, I mean we really need someone to play the part… If we don't get this part then the whole group will fail, but if you don't want to then I understand,"

"O-oh of course I'll take it! The group can't die as a horrible failure!" Naruto waved his arms while swearing he could have heard Rock Lee from the bathroom yell, "but we're too young to die!!"

Sasuke smirked, _that was easy._

And so the movie conducting continued. They only got about one-fourth of the way through when it was around dinner time, and they were all hungry. The team ordered a pizza, but had to call back and order another one when tripped and dropped the whole thing on their scripts and storyboard.

After pizza was eaten, nobody really felt like working anymore. Hey, it was a sleepover! They had all the time in the world to work **tomorrow. **So they all crammed into Naruto's living room once again.

"Hey, hey guys! I have a good game to play called Cloud Nine!" Kiba announced excitedly while everyone else squinted at him.

"Kiba, one thing you must realize is, we're all **male**," Shino stated, pushing his circley sunglasses further up his nose. The other agreed while Kiba blushed.

"No, that's not how it goes! It's an idea from a user on Quizilla (really), this is how you play: There are two piles of paper scraps. In one pile the scraps have people's names written on them, the other stack has articles of clothing. When it's you turn, you take a paper from each stack, but don't look at them, you will be blindfolded while the rest of the party looks at what you got. You and that person you drew will go in a closet (you don't know who they are, and you're still blinded) and you have five minutes to exchange that piece of clothing with each other. Your partner cannot tell you what it is. Got it?"

"Wait, are you the only one blind folded?" Neji asked.

"Yes. The lights will be off, however, and you must come out wearing each other's stuff so we can see you actually did it." Many sounds of consent chorused through the room.

"Okay then, how about Naruto goes first since this is his house?"

"Sure." Shino found an old leopard-print bandanna and blind folded Naruto while Neji and Gaara made the scraps of paper. Kiba, Sasuke, and Rock Lee found a suitable closet not crammed with Zach Effron crap.

"Alright, guys! I think we're ready." Gaara called from the living room, two of Naruto's old ramen cups used to house the paper.

Shino led the blinded blond to the cups, "Okay Naruto, you can draw the papers now."

He felt around the table trying to find them. "Whoa. You used my old ramen cups??"

Neji shrugged, "It was about the only thing we could find." Naruto then proceeded to pull out his paper, and accidentally punched Lee in the face while trying to hand in to him. As the green beast lay on the floor clutching his eyeball the rest gathered around determining what and who Naruto's turn was.

The short juvenile really had to resist the urge to peek under his blind fold, for the group of boys had started to laugh, and he was pretty sure he heard Kiba say, "good luck, mate!" and thump someone on the back.

Shortly after, he felt hands roughly push him into a smaller space, which he assumed was a closet. Excitement rushed through his body, or was it fear? He had no clue what was going on.

"Uh… You know it'd be nice if you told me what we are doing anyway…" All he got in response was a hand feeling his shoulder, traveling down, down… GACK!! The blindfolded victim jerked with surprise; the hand had placed itself firmly on his bottom, and was soon joined by a second one.

"Wh-what are you d-doing?!" he sputtered out, a blush creeping up on his face.

"Shh." He felt a hand remove from his seat and a finger press against his lips. _I really want to know who it is…_ Both hands returned to Naruto's pants, now fiddling with Naruto's buttons. _Is it the pants?_ He wondered with growing embarrassment as they were pulled off him and the clothes were placed in his hands. He waited as the other person shed his own pants.

The rustling stopped. Naruto gasped with shock as his boxers were suddenly pulled down. "HEY! A little warning would be--" slender fingers trailed up his thigh, coming very close to an extremely sensitive spot, "…nice." He managed to breath out when to fingers slowly slid off, returning to their owner to also remove their underpants.

An unfamiliar-feeling fabric wormed its way over his legs and around his waist, the elastic hanging a little looser than his own. _So boxers then… This isn't Neji, his waist is smaller, and I'm pretty sure Lee wears Tighty- Whiteys…_ This was driving him crazy! And now.. Naruto's ear was being gently caressed. He winced and brought a hand up to his ear, grabbing the hand of his partner. Suddenly, a tongue made its way in. Naruto squeaked and shuddered involuntarily; it felt kinda good. He felt a presence coming closer to him. It seemed to stop right in front of his face, or maybe it was just his imagination. He held his breath in case it wasn't. the pants in his arms were tugged on, but Naruto's grip had tightened considerably from all the molestation, so he ended up being tugged with them.

"Waah!" balance was lost, sending the dazed blond tumbling down, along with his partner.

Naruto knew something was wrong the moment things stopped falling from the shelves in the cramped closet. He knew because his head wasn't on the floor. He knew because he could feel the person under him getting tense. He knew because the familiar feel of his own leopard skin boxers were now adorning someone else's body. His face was in that someone's crotch.

He heard a faint 'ngh' before being roughly shoved off. Naruto managed to squeak out an apology, "S-sorry!"

Naruto scrambled up, grabbing his bandana. He has had enough of this craziness and molestation. He was going to find out who that person was. Then he was going to kill whoever opened the door when he ripped of the bandana and the light blinded him. Wait..what? Naruto covered up his eyes and yelled a couple of words of profanity.

"HAHAHAHA OMG I can't believe they actually did it!!" Kiba yelled to the anxious crowd waiting behind him. Apparently, the 5 minutes were up and Kiba has come to rescue Naruto's poor partner. Well, he didn't seem to be poor to him, Naruto wondered and smirked. He looked down at his underwear and his mouth fell open. NAVY BLUE?? There was only one person he knew who would wear such a plain color; Naruto turned so fast he could have sworn he defied the laws of physics. But he didn't care as his eyes got wide when he saw a flustered Uchiha attempting to pull on some pants.

"And am I going to get my undergarments back?"

"Nah, you have to wear them for the rest of the sleepover!" Neji giggled and flipped back his hair.

"OK OK MY PARTNERS OF YOUUTTHH!!" Lee scrambled up on the top of the couch. "I VOLUNTEER TO GO NEXT!" he tied on the bandana while running towards the ramen cups. Shino grabbed him by his shoulder and carefully guided him. Rock Lee youthfully stuck his hand and pulled out a handful of papers. Then he chose one and threw the rest up in the air. Then he repeated the process with the other pile. Gaara snatched the papers out of Lee's hand and showed them to the rest of the group. One of the papers said 'shirt'. And the other said 'Neji'. Everyone could see Neji's face flooding with red as he grabbed his forehead and got ready to scream, thankfully Kiba closed his mouth in time.

"Now now, we don't want to ruin the surprise," Kiba snickered to Neji as the long-haired boy sobbed. "Ok, change of plans. It says here 'shirt' but I am afraid that Lee is wearing a spandex-body suit. We're going to have to change it to 'shirt and pants'"

As the dog lover said this, Neji grabbed Naruto's keyboard from its stand and stood at the edge of the windowsill, tears still streaming.

"If you're depressed, we can talk!!" Naruto grabbed one of Neji's legs, who was attempting to jump out the window now. A couple more people then helped Naruto to drag the depressed youth back into the room. Then he and the green beast by the name of Lee (lol rhyme) were both shoved in the same closet of doom that Naruto and Sasuke emerged from a couple of minutes ago.

Rock Lee ripped off his spandex suit and proudly held it out… to the wall. Neji tapped him on the shoulder to show that he was behind him.

"And um.. how am I supposed to put this on?" Neji stared at the ripped suit

"OH um sorry, force of habit!" bushy-brows yelled… to a broom.

Everyone sat on the floor with their ears to the door as they heard some crashing sounds, crying, and Rock Lee screaming about youthfulness. A couple of seconds later everything quieted down and Rock Lee proudly emerged wearing a manskirt and a tight tank-top. Neji followed with his head down, wearing a spandex suit ripped down the middle.

_Wow, Neji's so girly I didn't notice he was wearing a manskirt before Lee put it on…_ Naruto thought while squinting at the sight, but laughing nonetheless.

Poor Neji, though. He looked like he wanted to die. It also didn't help when he caught sight of Gaara staring at him and chuckling.

Next up was Kiba and Shino… well, let's just say they got 'socks' and came rushing back out of the closet at top speed, wanting to win first for swiftness.

All eyes turned to Gaara, the last man standing. He glared, trying to avoid the game. When it became clear that they weren't going to let up, Gaara changed tactics. "Now now, guys. Everyone else has already gone, so why not just find something else for me to do?" He really hoped they would.

"I don't know, Gaara… I think you should have to do it, too." Kiba scratched his chin. Gaara got a little panicky. Neji, seeing the red-head's panic, decided to save him this once, though he wasn't even sure why he was panicking, or why he himself wanted to help… oh well.

"Well Kiba, we could just give him a really hard truth or dare instead…" Neji avoided Gaara's gaze, and Kiba smiled wickedly.

"Hmm… good idea. Truth or dare, Gaara?"

"Dare," he was afraid of what Kiba might ask if it were truth.

"Okay then, Dare! Hn…" he pondered a moment, banging his head on the couch as if to jog his brain around. "Hmmm… HMMMMM!!"

"Stop humming like a deranged hobo and get on with it!" Sasuke yelled from his position behind the couch. He was still embarrassed about the boxers, and the fact he had molested Naruto in the closet, and Naruto found out it was him. He'd thought he'd never know!

Kiba hit his head once more before suddenly sitting bolt upright, "I GOT IT!!" the dog-lover yelled with a clenched fist. "Gaara, you must…" he paused for a dramatic effect, "DRINK THIS WHOLE BOTTLE OF COKE!!" grabbing a nearby one-liter bottle off the kitchen counter, he waved it in Gaara's face.

"… That was your amazing idea?"

"W-well yeah, I just figured it would be hard or something…" Kiba mumbled under his breath. Gaara shrugged and took it from him.

"Okay," and he drank it.

Naruto stood up and said, "Des anyone want to play Runescape??"

"YEAH, I haven't played Runescape in TWO WEEKS!!" Rock Lee jumped up and rushed to the computer, followed by everyone else.

Neji pulled at the green jumpsuit, it was making him sweat. Neji doesn't sweat. Ever.

"Hey um, Naruto? Do you mind if I take a shower?" He could not live with the sweat!

"Er… sure, I guess. Everything you need should already be in there, so…"

"Thanks, I got it," and so he entered the small bathing facility.

Gaara could hear the shower turn on. _I think the coke is affecting me… I need to use the bathroom. _He waited for about 20 more minutes. The Hyuuga still hadn't come out or turned off the water. Gaara thought he was going to die, his bladder threatening to pop.

"Excuse me," he nodded to the others, heading towards the bathroom. "Hey Neji? I need to go!" he banged on the door. No response. He pressed his ear against the door and listened closely. Wait, was he…? _Neji is singing in the shower! He'll never be able to hear me!_ Gaara panicked for the second time that night.

Bursting through the door to the bathroom, he quickly lifted the toilet seat and unzipped his pants. He let out a sigh of relief- that was **close!**

"Eh? GAARA?!" Neji squealed, slipping on the bar of soap he just dropped from shock.

Shower curtains, water and Neji all flew about in a huge jumble. The long-haired teen had tried using the curtain to stop his fall, but just ended up bringing the whole thing down with him.

"WHAAHCK!" he quickly jumped up again, gathering the curtain around his manboobs. "Gaara, what're you doing in here?!" he blushed and pointed accusingly at the red-head, who had just zipped his pants up.

Gaara was also blushing at the sight of Neji dripping wet, looking very vulnerable at the moment. "Had to pee," he grumbled, quickly stepping out of the bathroom.

The others were staring at him wide-eyed. Gaara turned and said, "Naruto, there has been some… difficulties with the shower curtain. Sorry about that."

"Oh, heh heh, it's okay! I think…" Naruto smiled. Few minutes passed, and Neji emerged wearing his lacey, pink, flower-printed nightgown that reached about mid-thigh. He had had enough of the spandex.

"Gaara!!" he pointed again, "I almost killed myself in there, why didn't you knock first?!"

"I did! But you were too busy singing to notice, girly man!" he took a step closer.

"Yeah well, you know what?? Sasuke likes my girliness, so HA!" another step closer.

"Psh, that's so not true! We both know Sasuke likes my eyeliner and tattoo **way** better than your silky long hair!" step. The rest of the party watched the two, somehow having a feeling this actually had nothing to do with Sasuke.

"Well I have thirteen pictures of Sasuke on my wall!!" step.

"I slept under his bed one night just to hear him sleep!" step.

"I kept a video surveillance in his bathroom for two weeks and I still have the footage!" step. Sasuke's eye twitched.

"I have the tissues he threw away when he was sick!" step.

"HE LIKES ME BETTER THAN YOU!" They were now yelling in each other's faces.

"NO HE DOESN'T!!"

"YES, HE DOES!"

"NO!"

"YES!" Both boys had each other's collars in a tight grip.

"NO, HE'S MINE!!"

"HE'S NOT YOURS, HE'S MINE!!" Then, next thing Naruto knew, their lips had locked and engaged in an extreme make-out session.

Naruto blinked.

Then he blinked again.

They were still passionately making out. _What is going on?!_ The blond pulled at his hair.

"Uh… let's let them have some privacy," Shino herded the dumbstruck sheep out of the room; no one had seen **that** coming.

Sasuke turned to Naruto, gaping. "But… I thought… How…?

Naruto just shook his head, "I'm not sure…" They gathered around the door handle's keyhole, peeking in.

"Oh Gawd, they're taking it to the bed!" Kiba slapped his head and turned around. Rock Lee just stood still as a statue, mouth hanging open in a perfect 'O' shape.

"Let's um… find something else to do, shall we?" they all agreed with Sasuke, wanting to fill in the awkward space.

_Things just keep getting weirder…_ Naruto blushed at remembering Sasuke in the closet.

"All right then, who's up for the insanity game??" Naruto glanced at the clock. TWO A.M.?! Where did the time go??

"Sure, insanity it is!!"

Gaara and Neji came out shortly after, announcing that they were now dating. Then the party ran around like idiots and did the Gerten(1), calling out random dares like "go molest that door!" or "Make sex noises for one minute!" Gaara and Neji were flirting so much it hurt to look at them. Naruto and Sasuke tried to avoid each other for the most part, and Rock Lee twirled around, scattering rose petals everywhere.

It was around 4:30 in the morning when everybody (finally) collapsed and slept. Well, Gaara watched everyone else sleep, that is. Kiba and Shino were cuddling unconsciously on the sofa. Rock Lee was lying in a really strange position in the shower, snoring loudly and drooling. Naruto and Sasuke were in the bed, cramped because a certain long-haired guy claiming he needed his beauty sleep was squished between them.

In the apartment room next door, a poor soul was able to rest, falling asleep grumbling about crazy teenagers. Peace and quiet had at last come. For now.

**(A/N): (1) Okay, about the Gerten thing… You see there's a guy called Gerten at our school, and he goes around making strange noises… kinda like 'Nyaghracc' whenever he get's pummeled with a pencil pouch or something.**

**Also, we don't own Runescape. Hey did anyone get the thing about Neji trying to jump out the window with a keyboard?? That was from Gravitation, which we don't own, either :P **

**Thanks for reading!! Reviews are nice, too!**


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SIX!!

Naruto rubbed his eyes from sleep. Getting out of his bed, he clumsily scrambled to the door, clutching a Zach Effron blanket closer to his chest. Once he got in his bathroom, he brushed his teeth, relieved himself, and opened the shower curtain. Rock Lee tumbled out.

"AAAAAAAK," Kiba opened his eyes and rolled off the couch.

"Agh, it's nine in the morning, Mother, what do you want," he said to Shino.

Shino grabbed Kiba's throat and mumbled sleepily, "Kiba, what are you doing?"

Yesterday's events slowly came flooding back to the children in Naruto's apartment. They wearily took care of all the daily morning tasks and assembled in the living room for roll-call.

"Kiba?"

"HERE!!"

"Ugh. Shino?"

"Meh."

"Naruto?"

"Stupid… visitors… Zach Effron."

"Rock-Lee?"

"YOOOUUTH!!"

"Gaara?"

A pause.

"… Gaara??"

"I haven't seen him yet."

"Neji's gone, too."

"Oh goodness."

"AND HOW!!" everyone stared at the overly enthusiastic Rock Lee, who managed to be youthful even in the morning.

"I'll go cook breakfast," Naruto mumbled and went to the kitchen to prepare some ramen cups. Sasuke followed, while everyone else gathered around a small coffee table. Around twenty minutes later the ramen arrived and everyone was now aware of his surroundings. Neji and Gaara were now with the group, Gaara was mumbling and Neji was giggling. After breakfast ended, Sasuke threatened everyone to keep working or he would drink all the grape juice himself. That made everyone get back to work (lol).

It was time to do the scene where Cleopatra and Antony committed suicide. Sasuke and Naruto were sprawled on the floor, ketchup oozing from their chests. Sasuke slowly reached out his hand, attempting to reach Cleopatra (Naruto).

"Antony… these… these are our final moments--"

"HAHAHAHA!!" Sasuke and Naruto glared at Kiba. "I'm… I'm sorry, I couldn't control it, hee hee…" Naruto looked around, noticing that most of the group was holding back laughter, and blushed insanely.

"Well, um, well THAT'S WHAT THE SCRIPT SAID!!" Naruto pointed menacingly at the chuckling Shino, who was in charge of writing the script. He then rolled his eyes at the soon-to-be-dead Kiba, who was now clutching his side from laughter.

"Ahem. Anywho, back to the movie…" Sasuke glanced at the script before quickly tossing it aside and resuming his position on the floor. The camera began rolling.

"Cl-Cleopatra… I just wanted you to know that…." He softly stroked 'Cleopatra's' whiskered cheek, "I'll always love you, even in death." Naruto's eyes widened, not from shock, but amazement. Sasuke was an incredible actor, it seemed he was **actually** saying it to Cleopatra while dying.

"A-Antony… Your love will always be returned forever!" In his mind, the blond was yelling at Shino for writing such corny scripts.

Sasuke leaned forward, and for a split second Naruto thought Sasuke might actually kiss him. But he didn't. He was just barely half a centimeter away, though, positioned away from the camera to appear like they were. The closeness made Naruto's heart beat fast and his face flush. _Gah, why am I blushing?! Sasuke is a great friend, I mean sure he's sexy and all but I don't like him like that!_

He was snapped back into reality when Sasuke pulled away and closed his eyes, sighing. _Oh, this is the part where we die._ Remembering his script, Naruto slowly grabbed Sasuke's hand, clutched the front of his make-shift toga, and 'died' also.

"CUT!!" cheers erupted from the bystanders, as well as laughing.

"AHAHAA!! You guys were great!"

"Such beautiful youth, I'm touched!!" tears were streaming down Lee's face, his fist clenched.

"Wow, you guys really have talent for acting!" Neji complemented. Both boys beamed and began cleaning the messes from the floor.

"So? Are we done??" Naruto excitedly asked Shino.

"As soon as I edit some stuff, but I can do that at home, so yes. You are done."

"YEAH!!" Naruto punched the air, accidentally knocking over a Yu-Gi-Oh! Action figure.

Gaara was wandering around the kitchen. Some tiles were missing in a certain area. "Hey Naruto, what happened over here?"

"Oh, I'm doing a project! It's going to be a mosaic of Zach Effron's face!!" Everyone slapped their heads in unison.

"Zach Effron is like a drug to you…" Sasuke mumbled a little jealously under his breath.

It was getting around one o'clock now. Neji stifled a yawn, speaking for the rest of the group. They were all about to fall over from exhaustion. "I guess we should all head home now," Kiba said.

The rest nodded.

"Thanks for having us, Naruto!"

"Yes, I had a very youthful time!"

"Hope we can do it again later."

"Your place ROCKS! See ya in school!"

Their stuff packed and ready to go, the left Naruto and Sasuke. Standing in a completely destroyed apartment. Old chip bags lay scattered around, messy blankets were wadded up on the floor, broken plant pots soiled the kitchen counter, and an unidentified substance dripped off the couch.

His room was no better' the bed was bare, sheets having been thrown off to the floor, and the clothes from yesterday still sprinkled the room like sugary candy.

Naruto sighed, and began to pick up the clothes.

"I'll help you clean before I leave," Sasuke offered, reaching cautiously towards the scarf that tripped him the previous day.

"Oh, you don't have too, Sasuke," though Naruto didn't really want to be alone all day. It was an off day; no work.

"I don't mind, really. Going home to an empty apartment just doesn't sound very pleasant right now," Sasuke fiddled with the fringe on the scarf.

"Really? I don't quite want to be alone either…" so it was decided, today wasn't going to be a lonely day after all.

After much toil over cleaning the apartment, which was now sparkling again, they flopped down on the couch.

"…"

"…" there was that awkward silence: suffocating and unbearable.

"So um… What do you want to do, Sasuke?"

"I don't know…er…. Maybe we could plant a garden?"

"I don't have anywhere to **plant** a garden. Maybe some sort of arts and crafts?"

"Yeah, like weaving baskets!" Naruto scratched his head.

"Actually I was thinking more like… plaque making? I've always wanted to do that."

"Sure… I guess," so they got some construction paper and cardboard. And stared at it.

"… Yeah, no. This won't work…!" The raven rubbed his temple while sighing, "You know what? Let's just go somewhere."

"Like where?"

"Erm… Bubble Tea Café? (There's a store in New Orleans called that. I went there-- Franklin) Sasuke opened a small notebook and showed Naruto the address.

"So bubble tea it is," both of them got up and exited the sparkling apartment, cardboard and supplies still on the floor.

Walking to the café took a few minutes, but since they talked the whole time it went by pretty quickly. The two youngsters entered the store, looking around. It was a pretty tiny place, but it was very crowded. Small red tables with two to four chairs stood around the place, some were outside under the trees. Sasuke and Naruto decided to sit outside, so Sasuke put down his acting books on the table so no one would take it. Naruto was already placing orders to the cashier. Sasuke approached him.

"Naruto, did you get one large for the both of us?"

"Huh? One large, but…"

"You see, one large is less money than two smalls, and it comes with approximately the same amount."

"You're cheap, Sasuke," Naruto gave him a playful shove.

"Hey, every penny counts, especially when you have to support yourself and pay rent." They changed their order, and continued the conversation of money on the way back to the table.

"Well, you're right. Sometimes I have to pay the rent a few weeks late, and I end up not being able to eat anything." Naruto rubbed his stomach at the thought, taking his wide straw out of its wrapper and inserting it into the drink.

"I know! It seems like it would just be easier to quit school and get a full-time job somewhere.." Sasuke did the same with his straw, and they both began to sip the delicious mango-flavoured tea enhanced with giant tapioca balls. A thought came to Naruto.

"Hey, since we both-"

"Mommy, look! It's two guys indirectly kissing!" a little girl with her mother pointed at the startled boys.

"Don't look sweetie, just don't look!" The girl's mother quickly dragged her away, covering her eyes with a handkerchief. Naruto and Sasuke stopped drinking for a second, both blushing.

"Um.. Well what I was saying was…" oh Merlin, this feels really awkward now, "We could, I mean for money purposes share an apartment and split the rent, so it would…be easier on us," he mumbled out the last part, his idea suddenly sounding very stupid.

"Actually, that's a good idea. We both are extremely low on money, and we're both lovely, so it all works out. How about we share yours? It's more happy than mine, anyway."

"Er.. lovely?"

"LONELY. Lonely."

Naruto raised one eyebrow but decided to shrug it off. They decided to take turns sipping the tea, so it doesn't look as awkward. When they finished the fishbowl-sized drink, Sasuke fumbled with his straw a little and stood up to throw it away. Naruto dreamily, like a schoolgirl, stared after Sasuke, making sure to make note of his butt. Sasuke waved a hand in front of Naruto's face.

"OH! Um.." Naruto got up and grabbed Sasuke's hand, "LETS GO TO THE PARK!!"

The poor Uchiha was dragged down the sidewalk, scaring unsuspicious pedestrians. He felt a strong sense of Déjà vu (chapter 1 anyone?).

Peacefulness, pigeons chirping, ladies cooing over baby carriages.

The next moment,

Pigeons scattering, baby crying, chaos.

Why, you ask? Naruto just crashed through a giant pigeon gathering, still dragging the suffering Sasuke. They were now dodging flying poop falling from the sky. Sasuke's shirt sleeve ripped, sending the henhead flying through the air, while the idiot Naruto kept running, thinking the sleeve **was **Sasuke. It took a couple of minutes to realize it was not.

"Oh my goodness gracious! Are you okay?" Naruto propped Sasuke's head on his lap.

"N-Naruto.. I…. I have something to tell you."

"Yes, Sasuke dear?"

"You…you…you IMBECILE!!"

That phrase rung in Naruto's ears for days. Trying to pull the raven off of the ground proved to be a hard task. After about 5 attempts Naruto just collapsed on the ground, feeling tired.

"Oh look, the clouds are pretty!"

"Indubitably."

"Heehee that one looks like a duck!"

"And that one looks like a book,"

"Oh! And that one looks like a rain cloud!"

"You're right! ..wait" As if on que, rain started pouring from the clouds. It twas a thunder-less rain, but nonetheless the two boys quickly dove under a nearby tree to avoid getting soaked.

"Agh..rain." Sasuke hugged his knees to his chest. "hmph," Naruto stretched out one leg to the side, assuming the super-model pose. He was just about to remark on the number of the raindrops when a soggy mass of feathers smacked into the side of his head and slid down his face.

"WAAAH!" His arms windmilled, and while trying to keep from falling over, he latched onto Sasuke's neck, nearly choking the poor kid. Sasuke gasped for air, and removed the vice-like grip on his neck.

The bird limply fell onto Naruto's lap, who then proceeded to stroked it. "Awe, poor bird…" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, and stared at the motherly scene, crawling closer to Naruto.

"Okay Sasuke, you be the father, and I'll be the mother."

"Um… Why are we doing this again? It's a bird."

"It's our only child, Sasuke! Have some pride!" The 'henhead' scooted closer, placing a hand on Naruto's shoulder.

"There, there, Naruto. It's okay." The blond leaned in, resting against his chest.

"B-but Sasuke, our child!" Sasuke turned, cupping Naruto's face in his hands. "They grow up so fast.." Rain continued to pour around them, a few drops seeping through the tree branches, falling on the husband and wife. And child.

The bird twitched, indicating it was still alive. Slowly, the pigeon recollected itself, and soon flew off, leaving the parents behind.

Naruto shoved Sasuke's face into his manboobs. "Sasuke, NOO!!"

"Naruto…" Sasuke seductively breathed out, speaking to his manboobs while clutching the white dress.

Wait, what?

"Wait, when did you get this white dress on?"

"Same to you," Naruto pointed to the pin-stripe business suit. Sasuke shrugged nonchalantly.

"Sure, why not?" Naruto blushed, daintily placing a hand over his mouth,

"Oh my."

Sasuke nearly fell over from trying to keep his nose blood under control. 'Gah, why does he have to be so pulchritudinous?'

"Are you feeling healthy, Sasuke? You don't look well." Sasuke gazed into Naruto's jewel-of-crystal-blue-water eyes. He looked fixedly back at him.

Sasuke leaned forward, mind reeling. A strange feeling arose in Naruto's stomach. Lips tentatively grazed the dumbstruck foxy boy's. His heart skipped a beat. Slowly, the tender kiss turned into something more. Sasuke's hands slid up the white dress, bringing Naruto deeper into the passion. In return, Naruto moaned sexily and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck, his tongue begging for entrance to his companion's tunnel.

Granted access, Sasuke savored the succulent taste of Naruto's mouth, which tasted like mangos from their previous bubble tea drink. Naruto was now dripping wet from the rain, but it just made him even hotter. Grunting, Sasuke shoved him against the tree, getting a better grip on the boy's mouth.

"hm.. Naruto."

"S-Sasuke…"

Naruto closed his eyes, opening hi mouth even wider to allow him to breathe. Sasuke pulled away for a second, and they both panted. The flustered blonde still had his hands on Sasuke's neck, his nails digging in. Collapsing with exhaustion, Naruto ended up on Sasuke's lap. The Uchiha looked down, trying to get him off. But the foxy boy in the dress lay peacefully in the grass. Sasuke picked up Naruto's head and carefully laid it down, trying not to wake him up.

Light beams shined through the branches, hitting Naruto in the face. He covered his eyes and reached out to the alarm clock. Instead, his hand landed on something fluffy.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH"

Pigeons scattered everywhere as Naruto shooed them off, it seems he had fallen asleep and the birds decided to hold a gathering on his stomach. The rain was gone, and the sky was clear. Naruto slowly crawled up, trying to remember how he got to the park. 'Hm… I remember Bubble Tea Café.. and the tree.. and how did I get in this dress?' He tugged on the frills.

'Sasuke… there was something about Sasuke. Oh right, we were hiding from the rain and then the bird and then the-' "OMG!!"

An old lady glared at him from under a newspaper. The blonde grinned nervously, then gathered up the dress around his knees and ran. Walking around the park, he couldn't find any traces of Sasuke. Naruto sighed; he didn't feel like talking to him right now anyways. You would think Naruto would be happy, but for some reason whenever he thought of Sasuke he got a queasy feeling. Nervousness, maybe?

Arriving at his house, he quickly changed and picked up the phone.

'Ok Naruto, you can do this. Dial the number.' His hands refused to move.

"Erm, okay maybe not." Throwing down the phone receiver, he fell on his bed, with Zach Effron's face stretched across the comforter. Even Zach Effron could not make him feel better sob. What was wrong with his brain? Why did a certain dark-haired someone keep haunting his thoughts? It's not like… It's not like he liked him like **that**… did he? Well, they **were** making out in the park a few hours ago, but did it actually mean anything?

After many hours of lying in bed, his mind jumbling into a mass of confusion, he drifted off into restless dreams of birdsex.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER SEVEN!!

Iruka straightened out his stack of papers as his students slowly poured in through the door. Spotting a distressed blonde, he walked up and patted him on the head.

"Confused about your gender preferences?" he whispered to Naruto, whose eyes lit up nervously.

"W-what?! H-how… why-?"

"Let's just say I say you two lovebirds in the park yesterday," Iruka shoved away a kid who was about to ask some question. Naruto blushed, diving behind his history textbook. Even though this was English.

"Naruto, don't hide from me!" sighing, he gave up his attempt to cover his face.

"I'm not sure, Iruka. That might not have even meant anything. It's all so confusing…"

"If you need any help, just come to me, okay?" thumping the confused youth on the back, Iruka smiled and decided not to press the matter any further.

"Thank you," he went to his usual seat, and the bell rang for class to begin. Kiba was sitting on his left. He looked to his right. Empty. _Huh?? Why isn't Sasuke here? I hope he's okay… Oh no! Maybe on the way back from the park a giant pelican came out, grabbed his tie, and took him with it but the tie strangled him and he died!! Nooo…! Sasuke, where are you?!_ During his elaborate theory on where Sasuke was located, he had subconsciously fallen out of his chair and began rolling around on the floor.

"Uh… Are you okay, Naruto?" He paused his antics and looked around the room, everyone else's eyes glued on him and calling him strange.

"-cough- Y-yes, I was just… making sure that the cockroaches didn't have cancer!!" blushing, he pointed at the critter twitching it's antennas.

"Right… Anyway, class, exams are next week, so this week starting tomorrow the counselor will call each of you individually to a secluded area in the hallway to discuss your college details. Have your applications ready." Murmurs of exchanged information sounded through out the room.

"So where are you going to apply for college?" Kiba questioned his blond friend.

"I was thinking of a drama college, insert college. You know… that one in insert place that Sasuke wants to go to. How about you?"

"Well, I always wanted to be a veterinarian, so probably some sort of college that gives good degrees in that area."

"That's a good idea," Naruto nodded, smiled and turned back to Iruka, who was ordering the class to settle down.

"Page 457 children, page 457!! Today we'll be learning insert really long scientifical procedure thing!" The whole class groaned. One kid stood up and clutched his head, yelling out his unhappiness.

--

Knock knock!

"The door is opened."

Naruto pushed open the door to Sauske's apartment. He looked around; it was a very plain, basic apartment. Nothing out of the ordinary, unlike Naruto's.

Making his way toward the bedroom, Naruto took a deep breath. He eyed the cold-intoxicated guy lazily relaxing on his bed. What was wrong with bringing his best friend his homework, anyway? "Hey Sasuke, I brought your homework. Final exams are next week, you know. And our college application meetings are this week, too."

"Yeah, thanks. I'm coming back to school tomorrow, so I won't really miss anything," Sasuke took the huge stack of schoolbooks and scanned the list of assignments. "Hn. Nothing too bad for homework..."

Naruto gulped. He had to ask, it was driving him crazy. "S-Sasuke, about the park yesterday..." oh Merlin, why was he blushing? "did... did you actually mean that?"

"Huh? Oh, the sharing an apartment thing? Yeah, it would make things a lot easier for the both of us."

...What?

"No, that's not what I was talking about! I meant... um... nevermind," he blushed even harder and looked away. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"... What ever, blondie."

Recovering quickly, the blonde fox smiled and began pouring the details to his lonely day at school to Sasuke. Quite on the contrary, the inside of him was going ballistic. 'What the hell?! Did he forget?? Or maybe, I dreamt the whole thing up in my head! Graaah

I don't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed! Okay, calm down... Act normal. Breath. Whew. All right, I can just blank that out in my mind, pretend it didn't happen. It might not have. Hmm... somehow, Sasuke and I feel close today. I mean, kind of like our friendship tightened. Wait, isn't it supposed to feel the opposite right now?? I don't know...'

"--so yes, how about this weekend I get my stuff together and room at your place? By then my landlady should know and all that good stuff."

"Huh? Oh, right! Yes, that's great!" '...oops. I forgot that I was subconsciously carrying a conversation that whole time. Hope he didn't say anything too important.' He gave a grin and slapped the hen-head's back, "you just can't wait to move in with Zac Efron, eh?"

He pouted, shoving at his friend, "I'll have you know, I don't feel anything for that loved-by-little-girls fairy prince!"

"Say…" Naruto dusted off Sasuke's bed stand. "You're room is very messy!"

"Look who's talking, child," Sasuke flicked away a few loose strands of hair.

"Erm… anyways, I was also going to mention that new student teacher from Poland that Kakashi-sensei is using as a helper."

"Oh him, he seems like a nice guy, I can't wait to meet him tomorrow.."

--

April fools, a holiday where you talk in sarcasm. Nobody ever takes you seriously, but sometimes it's a bad thing. Naruto arranged his pencils in an orderly fashion, from shortest to longest. While trying to decide which of two of his pencils were longer, he didn't even notice Sasuke approaching from behind.

"Hey blondie, I have AIDS."

"WHAT??" Naruto clutched Sasuke's collar and shook him up and down. "The shame!! The horror!! How will we ever have children now?!"

"N-Naruto, relax, I-I was kidding," Sasuke was getting dizzy.

"Well, erm… that's such a terrible thing to joke about!" He crossed his arms, embarrassed that he fell for it. _Why would he joke anyways… eh, I guess it was revenge for the Zac Efron thing._ The class slowly settled down as Kakashi-sensei came inside and slammed his perverted book closed. The kids shuddered.

"I have important new. I'm quitting teaching… because I'm pregnant."

Silence.

Some kid fainted in the back of the room.

"WWWHHAAT?!" Kakashi lowered his gaze as a tear rolled down his cheek. The class panicked even more. Chairs were thrown, tables flipped. Naruto pointed a finger at Kakashi, eyes the size of a million sparrows packed together in a convenient circular package.

"WHO?! WHO DID THIS?!" everyone quieted down to hear the pregnant teacher's answer.

"Naruto… do you know what day it is?" Realization seemed to hit everyone in the classroom, except Naruto.

"Eh, not really."

"First of April?" Naruto's face flushed with a shade of magenta. Crossing his arms, he fell into his seat and recollected his pencils off the floor.

"Anyways, everyone meet the new student teacher, Sai." A black-haired young adult entered the room and wrote his name on the board.

"Hello children, my name is Sai, and I'm gay." The whole class burst out laughing. Naruto laughed along, there was no way he was going to fall for that again. The student teacher looked confused.

"No, seriously--" everyone kept laughing, so Sai shrugged. Social studies continued, with a small joke every now and then from the classmates. The bell rang, indicating that lunch has now started.

--

Naruto glared at the lunch lady, "What do you mean there's no turkey left?!"

She readjusted her hair net and shrewdly replied, "You heard me. Now get outta here before I knock you out!!" she waved her soup ladle menacingly.

"Gaah…!" Naruto threw his hands in the air and stomped away. Turkey was the only good thing in the cafeteria, so if there wasn't any, he didn't eat.

Nearing the usual table he sat at lunch with his new friends, he noticed a large flock of students gathered around the new student teacher, Sai.

"No really guys, I'm gay!" Sai protested earnestly.

"Yeah, sure you are! And my mother lives in Alaska!" Kiba joked, for it was still April fools.

"I'm telling the truth! Um…" Naruto walked up o them.

"Hey guys, what's all this ru--" grabbing the front of his shirt, Sai caught the blonde's lips on his own.

"Mm… MMM!!" his eyes widened and he tried to shove the student teacher away, but the grip on his shirt was too tight. Suddenly, his savior emerged from the shadows, a strange light emitting from his eyes.

"Get…off…him!!" The Japanese messiah's claw-like hands dug into the offending student teacher's shoulder.

"S-Sasuke!" Naruto gasped out, finally having been released from unwanted attention. Sai giggled nervously, backing away.

"I… I was just trying to prove a point, really, dear!" everyone flinched as Sai said 'dear.' He was definitely gay. April fools or not, that kiss was pretty convincing.

Naruto continued to watch the enraged raven chase the student teacher around the lunch table. He was just boarding a train of thought about his favorite henhead when Sai decided to use him as a shield. Sasuke abruptly skidded to a halt.

"That's not fair!!" he pointed at Sai with accusation, still trying to get around the defenseless and discombobulated Naruto. There was only one thing left to do. Give up on getting revenge, for now. Sasuke put his hands on Naruto's ribs and threw him over his shoulder. The blonde protested, throwing fists at the Uchiha as he stomped out of the cafeteria.

"I'LL GET MY REVENGE!!" His voice faded away off into the distance.

After gently setting Naruto on the ground, he patted him on the head. Naruto lamped at Sasuke with bewilderment in his eyes. Both of them suddenly turned around, hearing the demon student teacher's voice. Sasuke pulled his blonde into a protective grip and quickly backed down the hallway, using the shadows for cover.

--

Naruto exhaled, closing his locker door covered with pictures of Zac Efron. He blew his locker a goodbye kiss and marched down the hallway as gracefully as he could possibly manage. Yet he could feel a pair of menacing eyes following him. Walking faster but still gracefully, Naruto dove around a corner. And another. And ano—

"OH SNAP!!"

"Hiya, Naruto!" the student teacher shone a friendly smile. Chills ran through Naruto's body. _Sasuke, help me…_ His eyes flew around the hallway, trying to find a way out of this situation. They landed on a small door marked with an exit sign. Naruto dashed to the door, but he didn't get very far. Icy hands grabbed his arm and pulled him in the opposite direction.

"There's no escaping this, Naruto. I am afraid this is something you must do. The school didn't lend me a room for my own personal uses for nothing." Tears flowed from the blonde's eyes as he thought what horrors awaited him beyond the classroom door as they neared it. He closed his eyes, but soon reopened them when he heard a slam from the dreaded door.

It looked like a five-year-old girl's room. Maybe even worse. Pillows, blankets, a fluffy carpet… and in the middle, an expensive-looking table with a tea set. Naruto grasped his forehead in horror.

"I assume you received the invitation?" Naruto reluctantly removed a pink glittery piece of ornate paper from his messenger bag and handed it over to the happy Sai. Continuing to study the extremely gaudy hellhole, his eyes fell upon a rather humiliated Uchiha, dressed to look like one of the porcelain dolls displayed on a nearby shelf.

"So you got dragged into this too, huh?"

"Yep." Naruto knew there was no escaping now.

Sai emerged from digging through a plastic jewel-encrusted box labeled "Princess Attire," clutching two dresses similar to the one Sasuke was wearing.

"Kyaah!! We all get to look pretty for the tea party now!" the obnoxiously queer student teacher exclaimed, hearts exploding around him.

"By the beard of Merlin, HELL no! You can't force that thing on me, even if it means it's the last thing you do!"

A few minutes later…

"Nooo, Sasuke… WHY?!" Naruto sobbed into said raven's puffle-sleeved shoulder, flapping the ruffles that now adorned his own body.

_Curse you, Sai! Stupid blackmail… and threats with sharp kitchen knives!_ Sasuke directed a severe glare at the exuberant dress-clad man, whom he found only to be a year or so older than themselves.

"Oh em gee!! You both are such _dolls_! How cute you look!!" squealing again, he fell backwards into an enormous pile of fluffy pillows.

_Well, at least I'm not __**that**__ gay…_ both males thought, somewhat disturbed by their student teacher's antics.

"Okay then! Let's have some tea, shall we??" smiling happily, he daintily held up a heart-patterned teakettle.

"S-sure," _as long as we make it out alive._

"Alright! I'll go prepare the tea and get the cookies out of the oven. Don't even think about trying to escape, I have surveillance cameras." Sai spoke the last part threateningly and disappeared around the door, leaving Naruto and Sasuke with chills.

"So, uh…" Naruto felt his face grow hot, for he couldn't help but remember that dream with them in the park. _I still can't believe I had a dream like that…_ Slapping himself, he turned to Sasuke, "er, thanks for earlier, you know when Sai was…"

"Taking advantage of you?" Sasuke supplied.

"Y-yes. Thank you."

"Sure. And if that mangy mutt ever lays his paws on you again I will personally cut off his p--"

"Okay! Tea and cookies have arrived!!" Sai pranced into the room, a tray full of goodies in hand. But before he could reach the frilly boys he froze, and slowly turned to the door from which a creak was escaping. Sasuke let out a gasp, and Naruto inhaled, getting ready to scream. The Uchiha closed Naruto's mouth and pulled him towards a pile of pillows nearby. The blonde boy got the hint and quickly dove in the fluffy mountain, closely followed by Sasuke.

They settled in and peeked out just in time to watch the door open and two very familiar figures stumble in, Sai still frozen with tea in hand.

"Oh, this isn't the janitor's closet!!" the silver-haired sensei scratched the back of his head and turned his attention to Iruka, who was gaping at Sai in the dress while clutching on the front of Kakashi's unbuttoned shirt. They both seemed quite disheveled; Iruka was blushing like mad with his pants halfway off, and Kakashi's hands roaming about.

A blonde and pink mass suddenly flew towards Iruka-sensei's feet.

"SAVE MEEE!!" he clamped on the teacher's legs, with no interest in letting go. Sasuke also pranced out in his dress and high-heels and grabbed Kakashi's arm. _Well, it's not like I can loose any more dignity than __**this**_.

Sai remained frozen as Naruto and then later Sasuke walked out of the bathroom, now in their normal clothes, and bowed to Kakashi and Iruka as thanks for rescuing them. They then left to go home; Kakashi and Iruka ran off mumbling something about picking up where they left off, Naruto skipped away to Sasuke's dwelling to begin the packing, and Sasuke left a few seconds later, not wanting to be left alone with the scary student-teacher.

They spent most of the time packing, finishing somewhere around seven. By the time the boxes got to Naruto's apartment, it was around ten. The boys unloaded the boxes, friendly chatter making the time pass quicker. They finally collapsed on the bed by midnight, and Sasuke pulled Naruto into a hug, making his heart beat unnaturally fast.

Returning the embrace, Naruto wrapped his arms around his companion. Without even thinking about what he was doing, Naruto leaned forward and their lips touched. Falling back on the bed, he shot an uncertain glance at the raven. Then he realized he was asleep.

--

What happened to Sai, you ask? He remained still as a stone until the next morning, teapot still in hand.

--

**(A/N): Hello, there! Benjamin is speaking for both Franklin and me right now, and we just wanted to say… um… thanks for staying with us this far! This is probably our first fan fiction ever to write, so please bear with us. And please, please, PLEASE review! Thanks again :D**

**Disclaimer: If you really care about disclaimers, look in our profile. We have a whole list.**


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER EIGHT!!

BEEP BEEP BEE--!

Smack.

Naruto grumbled and peeped out from his warm blanket. 7:30 am. School. Mleh. He unsteadily slipped out of his bed, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

_Hm? What's that? I smell… Waffles._ Following his nose, he ambled into the kitchen, only to trip over a chair in surprise.

"S-Sasuke?? What are you doing here?!" as soon as he said that, everything from yesterday came back to his brain. "Oh… nevermind." Blushing, he looked away. _It's a good thing he was asleep last night, or at least I'm pretty sure he was…_

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow in question, "Whatever. Just eat the waffles," he shoved a plate with two waffles decorated with fresh strawberries and sugar to him.

"Say… Where did you get this? I don't remember having any of this stuff!" Naruto motioned to the waffle iron and ingredients sitting on the counter.

"Well duh, they were mine, I brought them with me last night."

"…Oh," feeling stupid again, Naruto stabbed a strawberry rather forcefully and took a bite. Then he realized something. "Hey, you don't have any syrup!"

"Is that a problem?" Sasuke walked over to the table, his own steaming plate of waffles and strawberries in hand.

"Well no, I don't like it that much anyways."

"Me either. Besides, it's more healthy to eat with fruit."

They continued to eat their waffles, friendly chatter filling the usually silent mornings. Even washing the dishes was fun, Naruto had accidentally flung some soap bubbles in Sasuke's hair, who in turn splashed him with dishwater.

Finishing up drying the plates, Naruto reluctantly returned to his room to prepare for school, which was starting soon, while Sasuke waited impatiently on the loveseat in the living room.

"Hurry up, blondie! I don't want to be late, today we go to that secluded area in the hallway to discuss our colleges!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Let me just put on some shoes…!" Naruto hopped out his room on one foot, trying to shove a neon orange converse on the other. Sasuke glanced at the clock. Patience gone, he grabbed Naruto by the shoulder and dragged him out the door, his shoe still half off.

_I hope this doesn't happen every morning…_ Sasuke thought as they sped walked towards the school. But luckily, they made it on time, and collapsed in their seats panting lightly.

"…You have got to wake up earlier next time."

"But you're the one who made waffles!"

"Whatever," he did have a point. With that, class began.

--

Naruto swirled around some rice on his tray, mixing it with some cheese. Sasuke stuffed his mouth with some pretzels, an occasional grape here and there. They were sitting at an empty table in the corner of the lunchroom. Turning his gaze to the lunch table not that far away, Naruto noticed Kiba waving in a friendly manner (they are forced to sit with their homerooms). He and Naruto then proceeded to make random hand motions. Sasuke observed the strange phenomenon.

First, Kiba pointed at his eye, then made a heart with his fingers, and then pointed at Naruto. Naruto blushed and waved his hand, saying "Oh, you!" and made the same 'I love you' motion to Kiba.

Naruto raised his hand, pointing to Kiba, then made a writing motion, and then held up his hand to his ear like a phone.

Kiba smashed his fist into his palm, understanding something.

"Naruto… did you just ask Kiba for his phone number??" Naruto nodded. "Why?" Sasuke questioned.

"'Cause he's my BFF!" the blonde grinned innocently. Naruto turned back at Kiba and motioned him over, doing the phone number thing again. Kiba stood up determinedly and sprinted over. Then he pursed his lips and held out a chicken finger.

A loud ring of laughter was heard throughout the school. Kiba looked confused, still holding out the chicken. Naruto fell over on Sasuke, also roaring with laughter, who in turn fell on the floor. Everyone was already leaving the lunchroom, so they slowly calmed down. Naruto rose from the floor, grabbing the table as he stood to leave, but felt something soft.

"Eh? What's this??" He felt the squishy soft thing again; it appeared to have some sort of adhesive on one side of it. He yanked it off the underside of the table, bringing it into view. The object happened to be one of those items girls needed once a month. But, being an idiot, Naruto had no clue what it was. So he turned to his hen head friend.

"Sasuke, what is this?" he waved it around.

"WAH! No, you idiot! Don't wave that around! Go ask someone else!!" Sasuke shoved him away, not really wanting to explain such an awkward topic.

_Hm… He's acting strange. I guess I'll ask a different person…_ Spotting a slutty looking girl with long light-blonde hair pulled into a ponytail with a chunk of hair covering her right eye; he waved at her and pointed to the toiletry.

"Hey Ino! Do you have any idea what this is??" she walked up, a surprised/disturbed look on her features.

"Naruto!! Where in the world did you get that?!" hitting him on the head, she demanded an answer.

"Wha--? I just found in underneath the lunch table, I swear!" sighing, Ino placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder and pulled him aside.

"Well, you see Naruto, every month a girl has her period. You know that, right?" he nodded knowingly- he had seen the videos. Ino continued her teaching, "So, naturally, there needs to be something there to catch the blood. Those are pads, which is what you are holding right now."

Naruto, who was currently blushing madly, spazzed out and ended up flinging the pad somewhere into the large crowd of students exiting the cafeteria. "Ew… Thank you for that information, Ino."

"Sure," she smiled and walked away. Sasuke soon came over to take her place, followed by Kiba and Shino.

"Naruto, why did you start laughing when I offered you the chicken?" Kiba questioned, looking rather confused.

"What?! I never wanted your chicken finger, I was asking for your phone number!"

"But I thought you wanted the chicken!"

"No!" They started laughing again, but soon had to wave their good byes.

"Bye, Naruto! I'll call you!!" Kiba yelled over the noisy hallway.

"You better!!" Naruto yelled back as Kiba dragged Shino to English and Naruto and Sasuke skipped up the stairs to art class.

They sat down on tall stools around an empty circular table, and their instructor called everyone's attention for the project that day.

Orochimaru, their instructor, had black hair that fell to the middle of his back. His ghostly white skin stuck out, and he wore strange lavender coloured eye shadow. Most of his students tried to avoid holding any sort of conversation with the man; he was very frightening indeed, especially with the sick smirk that spread over his face when he was busy hunched over his laptop. Nobody wanted to even think about what website he was on.

"Boys and girls, today we will be doing banners with famous movie characters on them. First, you need to…" and he continued to rant about every detail until the students got impatient and began to walk aimlessly around the room. Giving up, Orochimaru waltzed over to Naruto and Sasuke's table.

"So, what will you be doing, _boys_?" the snake-resembling man licked his lips. Was it just Naruto, or did this guy seem like a pedophile or something?

"Erm, we'll go look around for an idea!" Sasuke grabbed Naruto's arm and pulled him to the computer on Orochimaru's desk.

"Hm… What should we look up…?" the blonde wondered aloud. Sasuke reached for the mouse when he noticed a suspicious piece of paper near their teacher's coffee cup. He grabbed it and looked at it in confusion.

"Orochimaru-sensei, what is this heart-shaped cut out of Jack Sparrow doing here?"

"Oh blast it, I thought I got rid of all of those!" The snakey teacher cursed, snatched the picture away, and quickly walked to the other side of the room, mumbling under his breath.The two of them clutched their sides as they stifled their laughter.

After a while of randomly searching stuff, Naruto stared at the computer screen a fluffy cat staring back at him. He grasped his hands together as hearts exploded all over the room.

"Awe, it's soo cute! I think I'll do this cat!!"

"Um, but it's not a movie charac--" the bell cut him off and they gathered their belongings, but not before Naruto printed out the picture of the cat. Sasuke waved goodbye to his companion before walking down the hallway to the secluded corner of doom. Naruto sat down at a desk inside the English classroom. And sat. And sat. Then he doodled on his paper, and rolled around in homework a bit.

Finally, after ten long minutes, the Uchiha reentered the classroom with a bewildered look.

"Naruto," he whispered sitting down, "beware." Nervously, the blonde stood up and staggered across the rrom. Walking down the hallway, Naruto saw him.

"Oh no, Jiraiya?" Naruto slammed his palm against his and cautiously neared the chair the counselor was offering him. Naruto eyed the toad man; he looked pretty beaten up. A broken arm, cuts on his face, and bandages wrapped around his leg.

"Er, so what are you doing here, Mr. Manager?"

"Part-time job. Offers good pay," he voice came out a little pained.

"And, what happened to your face and such?"

"Don't mess with Tsunade. Ever. Especially during **that** time of the month." _Tsunade, the principal?_ Naruto scratched his head wondering what kind of relationship those two had. Mr. Manager/Toad man glared at Naruto's amused expression which immediately disappeared.

"So what do you want to be when you grow up?" Jiraiya pulled out a clipboard.

"Don't you _dare_ doodle in that!" Naruto threw a look at the pervert. Jiraiya chuckled. "Well, um, I was thinking maybe an actor!"

"An actor? Can you act out something for me? I'm awfully bored."

"Er, ok," Naruto remembered all the roles from the acting book he read earlier. Inhaling deeply, he let out a squeaky scream and collapsed on the floor. In a hoarse voice, Naruto mumbled in a womanly way, twitching every now and then. Jiraiya clapped enthusiastically, trying to suppress laughter.

"That… heh… was… ppft.. amazing!" Juliet, eh?" Naruto blushed a little as he climbed back in his chair.

"So, what colleges do you recommend?"

"Well, it seems that you get the same packet Sasuke did," Jiraiya dug around in the huge filing cabinet behind him, finally pulling out a blue packet, which read "Performing Arts" on the cover. Naruto grabbed it and rushed back to class, yelling a quick "thank you!" Chuckling, the toad man went back to his papers.

--

"So, is this better than walking?" Sasuke spoke over his shoulder to Naruto, who was right behind him.

"Somewhat, but my hair keeps flying in my face!!" the blonde whined and pushed yet another strand out of his eyes. Sasuke scoffed, and turned the pedals on the bicycle faster. He was operating the bike from the front, while Naruto clung on to him from the back, both of his feet hanging over one side, very much resembling a school girl trying to keep her skirt down. Minus the girl and the skirt.

A couple of minutes into the ride, they heard more bicycles behind them.

"OMG! It's a bicycle gang!! Naruto squealed and almost fell out of his seat. It had been his dream to be in one, ever since he saw a gang at the river one day. Sasuke slowed down as the teenagers circled around them.

"Hey! Nice ride, dude!" One of the guys rang his bell and waved at Sasuke, who did the same in turn.

"You, too!"

"What brand is it?"

"CV20 from 1985."

"Awesome!"

Naruto looked back and forth between the bicycle geeks, not following them at all. The bicycle ganger, all wearing black leather jackets, waved a goodbye and rode off into the sunset.

"What nice children."

"Agreed." Sasuke kicked up his foot to gain speed and resumed peddling towards Book's Readalot, for they were headed to work. Naruto was blushing slightly from holding on to Sasuke in such an awkward position.

Pulling up to the workers' parking lot, Naruto and Sasuke hopped off the bike and chained it to the fence, so no burglar could come cart it away.

"So, what college are you applying for, Sasuke?" the blonde questioned while pushing open the back door and throwing on his black work apron.

"Well, I was thinking about the Performing Arts college, the one about seven hours away from here."

"That's where I was going to apply for, also," _for more reasons than to be an actor, though_. Naruto thought, signing in on the checklist for employees.

"That's good. But you know, we'll have to get really good scholarships to actually be able to attend there," Sasuke also signed in, and fished out his blue packet to point out the tuition fee.

"Wow, that's expensive!!"

"Exactly. Basically, we can't go without scholarships. AND only the best performers can get into this school. We better apply soon…" the raven really hoped both of them would make it. He couldn't bear to think if one made it and the other didn't…

"AAH! We should apply right now!! I think I've got almost everything ready!" he started to frantically assemble a stack of application papers from his bag.

"Me too, but you don't have to go crazy right now. We can just stick them in the mail when we get home." Naruto nodded, calming down, and they took separate paths to sort books and work the cash register.

While ringing up the customers, Sasuke thought about the events as of late. Paying rent had become much easier, they had been sharing Naruto's apartment for about a week now. With the new bike today, transportation was quicker. Well, technically it wasn't new, considering Sasuke had found it in perfect working condition in the dumpster on their way to school, being late again.

And last… Naruto. He was getting a little worried about sharing a bed with the boy. Sasuke could've sworn he nearly woke Naruto up the other night from saying something in his sleep. Sasuke had woken up while calling out the blonde's name, and for a heart stopping moment Naruto twitched, rolled over, and resumed his heavy sleeping.

_Maybe I should tell him I can sleep on the couch…_ the dark-haired teen felt his cheeks burn at the thought of the dream that caused his near-heart attack, and coughed to loosen his throat.

The shifty-eyed younger-teen girl buying a large stack of perverted yaoi manga looked at him strangely before quickly trying to shove the books in her purse before her mother came around.

The hen head groaned aloud after she left, rubbing his temple in contemplation. _I definitely need to sleep on the couch tonight…_

**(A/N): Father Franklin and Mother Benjamin say hello! Oh, they also say PLEASE REVIEW! Um… We don't know much about college, so sorry if some things are a bit… off. It'll be a few years before we get there :D YOOOUUUTH!!**


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER NINE!!

Sasuke awoke sweaty, his breath coming in ragged gasps. He sat up and tugged at his shirt, trying to fan some cool air down his chest. Images of Orochimaru licking lollipops with Naruto dragging around a miniature Bonzai tree in a fuzzy purple wagon swam around his thoughts.

He rolled over and, forgetting he was laying on a cramped loveseat, promptly rolled right off onto the hard floor. Groaning, the raven rubbed his eyes and gathered his surroundings. Darkness swept across the apartment, only the glow from the kitchen clock emitted any source of light.

Frowning, Sasuke squinted at the digital clock again, which read 6:49 am. He grabbed the couch arm and pushed himself up. The confused youth swished back the pink floral curtains and peered out the window. His gaze was met with monstrous dark gray clouds looming over all the buildings in that general area of the world.

"Mm… Just how I like my weather," he murmured unsarcastically. He then went to carry out his morning duties and prepare something for breakfast, still disturbed with the previous imagery of his dreamland.

--

"Gaaraaaa!!" Neji whined, pulling on said red head's shirtsleeve.

"Whaaat??" Gaara turned, meeting the pale eyes of his boyfriend. Pouting, the long-haired male buried his face in Gaara's green panda jacket.

"I'm resembling a unicorn." Gaara raised an eyebrow, or the spot where an eyebrow should be.

"How so?"

"You know, unicorns are ponies with horns… Horny ponies??" Neji whispered, for they were in class and the math teacher was rambling on about some quadratic formula. Gaara choked on his spit and started laughing, but had to quickly cover it with a coughing fit.

Rummaging around his purse, the red head produced a pink hairbrush and began running it through the long, dark chocolate hair of Neji.

"Don't worry, class should be over soon…" Gaara breathed into the other boy's ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Gaara! Stop brushing Mr. Neji's hair and pay attention!!" the teacher, Kurenai-sensei, snapped at the two.

"Yes ma'am," they sighed and turned towards the white board of doom and arithmetic, while everybody else's eyes were still burned out from the scene they just witnessed.

--

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's collar, proceeding to shake him.

"You fell off the couch?! You could have gotten hurt!!" Naruto's mothering instincts were kicking in. Sasuke rolled his eyes and pushed on the bathroom door while still being shaken by the disturbingly worried blond.

Not wanting to go in second, Naruto shoved himself in the doorway. The two youths, battling to go in first, both ended up falling in the bathroom. Sasuke's head hit something soft, Naruto's leg kicked something that yelped in return. Something proceeded to grab and pull away Naruto, which he could not see because he had a face full of butt.

Gasping for air, he opened his eyes and gaped at the scene before him. Neji was sprawled out on the tiles, Gaara pinning him down. Thankfully, their clothes were still intact. At least, somewhat. They both quickly jumped up and proceeded to run around, frustrated.

Neji rushed into an empty stall, and Gaara followed. The long haired child shoved him out and locked the stall door. Gaara stood for a few seconds, completely lost, and then rushed to another stall.

Sasuke and Naruto just stood, waiting if either was going to come out of the stall. Finally, after what seemed like a half-hour of standing around, Sasuke broke the silence.

"Er, we already know you're a couple. Why are you hiding?"

"Oh, good point," a voice emerged from the farthest stall. Neji's head poked out of a different stall. Gaara also emerged, carefully trying to avoid Neji. Smirking, Sasuke nudged Naruto and whispered something in his ear. Naruto nodded and went on to watch Gaara very carefully.

Sasuke pulled Neji into a conversation by asking him how many times he lathers his hair when washing it. A spark went off in his eyes as he breathed in deeply and began his extensive lecture about how to properly wash hair. There was no way for Gaara to exit now without nearing Neji. Realizing that, he frowned to himself and picked up his pace.

_Almost there, all you have to do is walk by really fast so no awkwardness occurs. Ok. Almost… Almost passed him…_ Out of nowhere, a pair of hands flew out, knocking the red head over right onto Neji. Naruto burst out laughing, watching the young boys trying not to touch each other.

"Wow, you guys… Trying not to show your passion in front of us??" Naruto shot a knowing glance to Sasuke, who nodded in return, and they made their way out of the lavatory, avoiding a suspicious puddle on the floor.

Blushing, Gaara and Neji rolled off each other, but once the other boys were gone, their eyes met and immediately the previous activities of the couple were resumed.

Still chuckling, the blonde turned to Sasuke. "What silly children! They don't need to hold back around--" Naruto was abruptly cut off when someone wearing a dress shoved passed him right when they were emerging from the bathroom.

Turning around, ready to throw a few colourful words at the dress-clad person, he noticed extremely short hair. "Hey! Is that a… guy??"

"I believe so," Sasuke replied, eyeing the group of girls staring at the cross-dressing guy.

"OMG… That guy was wearing a dress! I wonder why?" on of the girls exclaimed.

"Maybe the culture festival? Let's stalk him!" they giggled and began to make plans.

Passing by, Naruto decided to give them some helpful information, for he realized he knew the guy. "His name is Brian," he said lowly as if it were top-secret information. The girls squealed and ran after the poor lad. Naruto snickered; Sasuke looking amused, but cursed loudly when the tardy bell rang out. The blonde turned on his heel and promptly smacked his head on an open locker door, which Gaara was standing in front of.

"Aagh…! Gaara!! What are you doing, we're late!!" he clutched his throbbing head and started beating Gaara with a wallet.

The red head, his cheeks tinted pink, mumbled something about "bathroom" and "Neji" and then ran off to class. Naruto winced once again, tenderly rubbing the sore spot on his forehead.

"Are you alright?" Sasuke, face impassive as ever, placed a cool hand on the burning red spot. Despite himself, Naruto felt the heat on his face rise.

"I-I'm fine! Come on, let's get to class!!" The rave agreed, pulling away from his worry. They continued on in silence, each step bringing them closer to their final destination; the locker room.

Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru and Rock Lee stepped out of the changing facility, already changed and laughing at some obscene joke.

"Naruto, Sasuke! You guys are way late! Hurry before Gai-sensei drowns you in lectures of youthfulness!" Kiba called to them.

"Ooh, but that would be lovely!" Lee did an ecstatic leap and clasped his hands together. Sasuke's face scrunched up, disturbed once again by the green beast.

"Only you would be excited by that, Lee," the fox boy waved to them and hurried in to adorn the school's gym uniform, Sasuke trailing behind. They quickly dialed the combinations for their small, cubic-shaped lockers and grabbed their clothes. Naruto stripped off his garments with one swift motion, leaving him standing in only his underwear.

After hurriedly changing, they shoved their stuff back in the lockers and sprinted out the door at full speed, but after about two steps Naruto collapsed on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Sasuke -gasp- I can't go on any longer –heavy breathing- Go on… with out me!!" Sasuke cast a glance at the blonde before continuing at the same pace. Naruto slid down the raven's back and grabbed his pants, which also proceeded to slide down. Sasuke caught his trousers before they got even lower and shook his dying companion off.

"Oh look, it's Sai's boy-toy!" a bubblegum pink haired girl, whom they recognized as Sakura, smirked, peeking out from behind a brown headed girl they also knew as Ten-Ten.

"Be quiet, man whore." Sakura shrunk back with a shocked expression at Sasuke's extremely rude comment. Naruto giggled and cast a glance at the glaring Ten-Ten, as something in particular caught his eye.

"Psst, Sasuke!" the foxy boy whispered in Sasuke's ear and motioned to Ten-Ten's chest, "Does that look strange to you?" Sasuke stared at a place on a girl where a boy really shouldn't stare. Ten-Ten followed the children's gazes and blushed when she saw what they were lamping at.

"I'll have you know, my boobs got smashed with a cupboard door when I was little!" she crossed her arms and turned around to search for the depressed Sakura. Locating her weeping under the stairs not far away, she shoved her hand down her bra.

The adolescent boys stared in shock as she dug around and pulled out some tissues and eyeliner. Then she readjusted her bra strap and headed towards the stairs. After handing the things to the sobbing Sakura, Ten-Ten turned around; the boys were still staring.

"Oh… Sakura forces me to do this, it's like her purse," Ten-Ten shook her boobs as she said this, and they jingled, "Hey, isn't it the middle of class, guys?"

"CLASS!!" Naruto spazzed and sprinted (once again) down the hall, Sasuke speed walking after him.

--

"…and that is why being late in un-youthful!!" Gai-sensei flashed a dazzling smile. Sasuke was stretched out on the bleachers, Naruto leaning against his back.

"Ok boys, you can go change into your clothes now," Gai-sensei waved them off, the grin still on his face. The boys jumped off the bleachers and ran out of the gym as if a monster was chasing them. "Ah. What youthfulness those two posses."

Naruto and Sasuke both dressed fairly quick, glad to have gotten away from their P.E. teacher. Standing outside the gym, for school was now over, Sasuke dug around his messenger bag for a notebook. Discovering it, he flipped a few pages to a blank page.

"Ah, Naruto, I need a pencil." Naruto pulled a pencil out of Sasuke's bag.

"Here, Sasuke! Have this one I found!"

"Uh, isn't that _my_ pencil?" Naruto glanced at it, his head tilted and a finger scratching his chin.

"So it is!" face splitting in a grin, the blonde shoved the writing utensil in his hand.

"Er… Thanks, I guess." The duo rounded the corner, Naruto karate-kicking the door open with his foot. The clouds from the morning had lifted and been replaced by azure blue skies, much like a certain blonde's eye colour, Sasuke noticed. He clicked the mechanical pencil and began to make a grocery list on the white notebook paper. Other students around them sat under the school awning, playing around or hurriedly trying to finish homework before their ride showed up.

Making their way to the bicycle rack, they stepped out from under the protective shadows of the awning.

"Aagh!!" Sasuke dropped the paper and clutched his palms to his eyes, doing a half-spin in the process.

"Sasuke?? What's wrong?" Naruto cast a worried glance at his friend, afraid he had a seizure or something.

"Th-the light!! It burnsss!!" the raven continued to clutch his eyeballs. Wondering what he meant, Naruto bent over to retrieve the list. Standing back up, he looked at it and immediately yelled in pain; the sun reflected off the bright white paper and shined in his eyes.

"My eyes!! They're melting!!" He slid onto the ground while grabbing at a nearby brick wall. "Whhhyyyy?!"

"Sasuke, whose eyes had now recovered, glared at the sun. Naruto paused his dramatization to observe the fierce battle. Glare. Glare. The raven continued to glared until Naruto was sure his eyes would shrivel up and crumble away.

"Gaah!!" Sasuke withdrew from the match, massaging his bleeding coal-black orbs. Not even an Uchiha's penetrating gaze can compare with that of the sun's!

A couple of ninth grade girls walked by, eyeing the strange boys sliding down the wall. One of them snickered and whispered something to the others. Naruto tried to figure out what they were laughing at, when he realized everything was upside down. Turning the right way up, Naruto gathered Sasuke's things and pulled the blinded raven after him, hopping on the bike and heading to the store.

Entering the grocery store's front doors, Naruto paused for a second.

"The doors, they opened for me!!" He stood in an almighty pose. Sasuke did the double-face-palm-spin-around maneuver, and then entered the store, picking up a basket. His trusty sidekick followed closely behind, afraid of the men in suits that were exchanging boxes in the parking lot.

"Sasukeee, they're doing illegal activities!" Naruto pulled on Sasuke's pants like a little girl on her mother's petticoat. The annoyed Uchiha turned around and followed Naruto's gaze to the very corner of the parking lot in the shadows. They observed them for a couple of minutes, and then Sasuke noticed a binocular stand right next to them.

"Oh, how convenient!" Sasuke grabbed a pair and directed them at the boxes, which were labeled "Russian Chocolates." One of the men noticed Sasuke, and dropped the box from which came spilling hundreds of colourful candies. The men in suits all fell to the ground, yelling and scrambling to gather the sweets.

"Uh-oh," the trouble making boys dove behind an old lady, just in time to avoid the glare of the "boss," so it seemed. Naruto reached for Sasuke's hand, squeezing it tightly. Sasuke's heart skipped a beat.

"Let's skip, shall we?" the oblivious blonde skipped into an aisle, light radiating from him. Sasuke emerged from behind the old lady, admiring his friend.

"Free lamps!! Free table lamps! Beautiful lamps!"

"Lamps?" Sasuke neared the man, who was holding an intricate lamp.

"Yes! The lamp is FREE!!... For only one dollar!" Sasuke stared at the grinning face before walking away, but then—

"FREE for one dollar?!" Naruto emerged from behind a row of vending machines, holding out a dollar bill.

"You idiot! How can it be free if it's for one dollar?!" Sasuke smacked him in the head with a fist.

"B-but!! They're so pretty!" the blonde pouted, clasping his hands in front of his chest. The raven sighed; how could anyone resist a face like that?

"Aah… Okay, fine. One lamp, ONE."

"YAYS!!" Jumping up for joy, Naruto ran over to the collection of lamps and scoped each one out to find the perfect one. "Hey, this one looks like you, Sasuke!"

"Eh?" Sasuke glanced over to the lighting device that Naruto was pointing to. "… That would be a duck, Naruto."

"Well, yes, but you see it's backside looks like your hair! And it's a black and blue duck, those are the colours you seem to wear all the time!"

"I don't see the resemblance," he squinted at it, trying to see what the blonde was talking about while subconsciously running a hand through his own hair. "Naruto, what are you doing?!" the foxy boy paused in mid-air while handing his dollar to the clergyman, the duck lamp under his arm.

"Buying it, of course!" he replied, then proceeded to hand over the money. "It comes with a light bulb, too!"

"But _why_ are you buying it?!" the whole concept of purchasing a cheap duck lamp made no sense to the Uchiha.

"Um… I don't know, it reminds me of you, I guess," Naruto scratched the back of his head, a light pink dusting his cheeks. "We can name it Sasuke Jr.!"

"Let's not…" the real Sasuke pulled out their shopping list. Skimming over the first few items, they turned and headed towards the shaving cream isle. "Wait a minute… Why do we need shaving cream?" He turned to his blonde friend for an explanation.

"Oh, er… I ran out?"

"Don't tell me you shave your pe--"

"LEGS. Legs." Sasuke tilted his head. This was something he had never noticed, but now that he thought back about it, Naruto did have extraordinarily smooth legs for a male.

"You know what, I'm not going to ask." And so they continued on towards the cream. Naruto pulled out the raspberry gel kind, earning a stare from a middle-aged woman who was looking back and forth between the two guys buying shaving cream, expecting the worst. Grinning at the lady, Naruto shoved the Shaving cream under the groceries, just in case.

"To the lettuce!!"

They arrived at the lettuce.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!" An old lady was picking up the last package. Naruto collapsed to his knees.

"Don't despair Naruto, we shall go for cabbage instead."

"But, but… I like lettuce more." Naruto spoke as tears ran down his face. Sasuke walked off into the direction of the leafy cabbage when suddenly his face smashed into something tall, muscular, and wearing a Hawaiian-style shirt.

"Ow—hey," Sasuke slid down the man's back and looked at his face. "You're Dick Willy!"

"Hey! Long time no see, how is your brother these days?"

"Oh, um… Traveling abroad, heheh." The raven's mind filled with memories of this guy, a class mate of Itachi, Sasuke's brother.

Gathering up the last of their groceries, Naruto and Sasuke met up by the self-checkout.

"Cabbage?"

"Check!" Sasuke was reading the list while Naruto pulled out the items.

"Ramen?"

"Check!"

"Apples?"

"Che-ck!!"

"Your duck lamp?"

"Check!!"

"Whipped cream?"

"Check!"

"Strawberries?"

"Check!!"

"Chocolate?"

"Check!!"

"Bagels and cream cheese?"

"Check and check!" Sasuke stopped reading, and Naruto tapped his foot, annoyed.

"Just say it."

"Fine. Shaving cream?"

"Check!" They scanned all the items, shoving them in bags. The checkout weren't very efficient, so Sasuke cursed a few times while kicking the machine. Grocery bags in hand, the two boys made their way through flower stands to the door, their sweet aromas making Naruto sneeze.

When they got out to the parking lot, Sasuke hung his grocery bags on the handlebars on their bike and climbed aboard, Naruto following close behind.

"It's getting a bit late, what do you want for dinner, Sasukekins?"

"Hmm… We have cabbage… and fish. How about cabbage fish? I believe it's flounder."

"Okay!" The blonde tightened his grip on the raven's torso. Ever since Sasuke moved in with him, surprisingly Naruto hadn't been eating as much ramen and more nutritional foods. The did still have ramen occasionally, much to the Uchiha's distaste, but only because Naruto loved it so much.

Upon reaching the apartment complex, the bicycle was chained up and they gathered their grocery bags to begin making the trek up to the second floor on which they lived.

"Do we still have that low concentrate grape juice?" Naruto asked while rounding the turn to the flight of stairs.

"I hope so, we just came back from the store and it would be a waste if we forgot some things." The blonde nodded in agreement.

"Say, you know I've always wanted to have one of those really fancy dinners with the glasses of red wine! It looks like fun!" Sasuke glanced sideways at his enthusiasm and unlocked the door to their abode. He went to sit on the couch to unbag the groceries from there.

"Why would that be so—AAGH!!" the yelling raven jolted off the couch, some sort of pale chunky substance dripping off his sit-upon.

"Eh?? What's that?" Naruto questioned, watching Sasuke with amusement as he danced around trying to figure out what to do with the sick mess on his backside. Once he realized what he doing, the Uchiha calmed down and resumed his normal stoic facial expression.

"I. Don't. Know." He gritted out before spitefully turning to the offending couch, which held a nice splatter of the same stuff that was on him. "Looks like cat puke."

"Ew," the blonde scrunched up his face in disgust. "… Wait, we don't have a cat!!"

Sasuke's mouth dropped open in shock. "You're right!! Then… How did this get here?!" They both stared at it for a minute.

"I don't know, but I think you'll have to sleep in the bed tonight," Naruto again eyed the chunky vomit, which was beginning to emit a foul smell, but nonetheless had to give it thanks for being directly where Sasuke had been sleeping these past few nights.

Sasuke was about to open his mouth in protest when he remembered the only blanket they had had gotten some puke on it, and they didn't have any sleeping bags. He would freeze. Sighing, more out of fear of what was to come than reluctance, he helped put away the last of the groceries (after changing his pants and cleaning the couch) and followed Naruto to his room for their nightly routine of Monopoly.

After they were safely asleep in bed, a small dark figure with golden eyes cast one last glance at them before leaping out the open window.

--

Strange noises. Sasuke was hearing strange noises. He rolled around, trying to get away from whatever it was. Nuzzling deeper into the surrounding bed sheets, his furrowed brow relaxed. The, the strange noises came back. Sasuke now opened his eyes, trying to figure out what they were. He caught a glimpse of blonde hair, uncomfortably close. Scooting back from Naruto, Sasuke felt a hand going up his shirt.

"Mm, Zac Efron, you're so hot," Sasuke gave a muffled yell and rolled away off the bed, hitting his head on something hard. Squinting, the raven examined the cause of his pain. A Zac Efron bust. Standing on the floor beside the bed. Sasuke stood up, backing away from the creepy statue, pulled his pants up and climbed back onto the bed, this time not getting under the bed sheets. But Naruto's hands found their way to Sasuke nonetheless.

"Zac Efron, let me touch your--" Sasuke, again yelled even louder, this time jumping off the bed himself. A hand shot out from under the blankets and grabbed the raven's leg, making him topple over. Naruto pulled Sasuke in a vice-like grip, wrapping his arms around his deeply disturbed, but somewhat happy, friend.

"Come on, Zaccykins, don't be shy…" The sleeping boy felt around Sasuke's body until he found just what he was looking for—his pant's waistline.

"N-Naruto, what're you…" the feeble words were abruptly halted after his pajama pants along the navy blue boxers were stretched out, sending a cold draft to Sasuke's lower parts. The chillness didn't last long, however, when something warm was thrust into his trousers. The diligent hand wrapped around his cock, forcing him to bite back a moan. He could feel himself tightening; this was going a bit too far. Rapidly kicking and pushing, Sasuke let out a squeal and shivered.

"Zacy-kun, what a big surf board you have, let me ride it!" The disheveled raven finally shoved Naruto off, collapsing on the floor panting. _'Bathroom, bathroom!!'_ The red flashing lights in his brain were going wild as the Uchiha scrambled up and stumbled towards the open door.

"..Eh?" a sleepy-eye encrusted blond sat up slowly and rubbed his face, having been suddenly awakened from a very…pleasant dream. A blush crept across his cheeks as he recalled all the details; it had felt so **real**. The only thing he couldn't figure out was why Zac had a bodyguard named Zeus with him… He jumped up suddenly. Speaking of which, where was Sasuke? Wasn't he supposed to sleep in here last night? Shaking off the covers, Naruto examined the surroundings, noticing his favorite Zac Efron item, the bust, was neatly covered with a blanket. The fox pulled it off and straightened the scary statue, making it more visible.

"Sasuke-kun!!"

"NNrrggyah!" a voice came from the bathroom.

"Oh! There you are," Naruto attempted to open the door, which was immediately slammed in his face and locked.

"Don't come in here, I'm…reading porn!!"

"Porn?"

"Y-Yes!! It's ungh.. really good!"

"Oh really?! I want to see!" he began pounding on the bathroom door.

"N-No!! You wouldn't like it, it's um… It's a gay porn magazine!" ..oops. In his haste, Sasuke had tried to repel the blond from coming in, but had accidentally let his own preferences slip.

"…Gay porn??" Sasuke gulped, his "excitement" dying down almost immediately.

"Well, you'll have to come out eventually, we have to get ready for school!"

Cursing, the raven glanced at the small digital clock on the bathroom counter. "Alright, alright, just give me a minute," he quickly cleaned up, his dignity now hanging by threads.

Lunch wasn't any better either; Naruto glanced at Sasuke, sitting some distance from him. There were no empty seats, so Sasuke had to sit on the girl's side. They seemed to be gawking over his new tie-dye arm warmers, which he called his "fashion statement." Naruto thought it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen. Except for his sparkly colorful pants. That was also ridiculous. Then out of nowhere, interrupting Naruto's thoughts, popped out Sasuke as if on que and shoved Naruto to the side.

"Hey! What's the problem?"

"Move over, I'm sitting over here. The two girls across from me were making their Hello-Kitty shaped candy have a three way!" Naruto cringed at the thought, letting the raven take half of his seat.

"So how's your fashion statement going?"

"Well, all the girls love it! I think I'll get a whole matching outfit." Naruto glanced over to the girls who were in the general area previously occupied by his friend. Sure enough, the two girls were huddling over a bag of hello-kitty candy, holding the candy together and making kissing noises.

"Er.. who are those girls anyway?" Sasuke shrugged, not really wanting to know who they were.

"Why, they're fangirls!" A familiar voice appeared behind the boys. 'No, it can't be!' Naruto slowly turned his head, recognizing Temari chuckling evilly into her fan.

"Oh, brother."

"Oh brother indeed! I haven't seen you in years!!" Temari squeezed the two boys into a hug while their classmates stared.

"What are you talking about, we talked in the hallway this morning!" Naruto said as he shoved the girl away, not wanting extra attention. They already had enough girls following Sasuke and him all day, including the strange ones with the Hello Kitty candy. They had somehow figured Naruto's locker combination and stuffed it with yaoi pictures, which all fell on him when it was opened. Thankfully Sasuke saved him by snatching the printouts and shoving them in the trashcan. No one saw them, but Naruto sure felt bad for whoever had to take out the garbage that day. He also managed to sneak a couple of them into his pants when Sasuke wasn't looking.

Their next class, science, held an unexpected surprise. Iruka-sensei had, apparently, also gotten a student teacher, for he announced it so. The awaited assistant was in the bathroom currently, but would return shortly.

"What is with all these student teachers lately??" Naruto questioned the stoic boy beside him.

"I don't know…" suddenly the class burst out in giggles. Iruka-sensei blushed lightly and began scolding his class.

"Now, now, children. It's impolite to laugh at one's name."

"Eh? His name is funny?" the foxy boy looked around confusedly. They hadn't paid attention to whatever was said about this new person.

"Okay kids, today I'm feeling awfully sore, so we'll just watch a Bill Nye movie." Some groans along with a few joyous shouts were heard. Naruto snickered.

"Heh heh… I bet I know the cause of the soreness. If it doesn't have anything to do with Kakashi-sensei then I'll… I'll swallow myself!" Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him, but gave a half-hearted chuckle at him anyway. Naruto had informed him of their teachers' relationship a while ago.

The science teacher opened his apple laptop and got the projector ready along with the Promethean board. Just then their student teacher decided to waltz in and stand directly in front of the projector. His wavy golden locks of hair swished around his face, which had a dashing grin on it. The sleeves of his blue Hawaiian shirt were rolled up to his shoulders, exposing his very ripped arms. His while body seemed to be sparkling, even his butt chin. He was a real muscle-man.

"EEEEEEH?!" both Sasuke and Naruto yelled out in unison. "Dick Willy, what are you doing here?! You can't be the student teacher, can you?!" They couldn't believe their burning eyes. Dick Willy just heartily chuckled, placing his hands on his hips.

"Why yes, boys, I am!" Flashing another broad, sparkly smile, he noticed the menu for the Bill Nye movie was on his chest, the quirky sound effects playing in the background.

"THIS IS FOR YOU, SASUKE!!" The broad man ripped open his shirt, sending the buttons off in all directions. "I, Dick Willy, age 25, shall play this movie on my chest!!" Sasuke's eye twitched. Naruto noticed the tattoo of a potato on the now bare chest. Iruka hit the play button. All the other students gaped. Bill Nye was running around on Dick Willy's chest exclaiming something about molecular structure. Naruto caught a glimpse of Sasuke staring fixedly at the chest. He felt like punching the stupid named-after-a-penis-man in his gorgeous face.

--

**(A/N): AH! We're sorry it took a while to get this chapter out! It's the longest yet, though! Wow… There will be one more chapter, and then an epilogue and the story is finished! Amazing! Thanks to all those people who have continued to read this insane story this far! Don't forget to review and you might get something special in the end :3 **

**Oh, a special thanks to Daniel B. in my English class who did the biography report with a guy named Dick Willy in it. It was very inspirational :D Also thanks to M. Gerten, who we base many strange things off of in here. Oh yeah, back to Daniel B., thank you for being the guy we creeped out with the Hello Kitty candy three way. Yes, we really did creep someone out with that. He ended up getting up and moving, haha.**

**Benjamin and Franklin, OUT!**


	10. Chapter 10

Bright golden locks of hair poked out from behind an unsuspecting, healthy looking household bamboo plant, one of the small one

Bright golden locks of hair poked out from behind an unsuspecting, healthy looking household bamboo plant, one of the small ones that twisted around in a funky way. The being behind it, however, wasn't quite so innocent. It gulped audibly when a particular inky-haired teenager stopped right in front of it, a very exasperated look covering his features. He began to tap his foot and glanced at his waterproof watch, as if he were a secretary in a dentist's office waiting for a patient to retrieve a lost driver's license from their purse.

"… Nice weather, is it not, _Naruto_??" he let his eyes travel around the room before returning them to the greenery with the last word. The leaves rustled around a bit before a reply squeaked out in a fake high-pitched voice, complete with a British accent.

"My name's not Naruto, it's Herbert Petey Fernando IV! Don't you know anything?"

Sasuke nearly smiled, _nearly_, but immediately replaced whatever treacherous twitching of his mouth with another stern gaze. "Alright then, Mr. Fernando, would you care to act as a representative for Naruto, since you have assured me that you are undoubtedly not him? Unless you want to be the unfortunate one to inform him that I personally drank the last of the grape juice?"

"Er… Wait! I believe he's on his way back this moment! Ah, here he… is…" A single azure eye peeped out from the bamboo foliage. The rest of the face followed reluctantly after, rather sheepishly. Naruto looked around, anywhere but at Sasuke. They were standing in the kitchen; two abandon book bags lay scattered about near the doorway, where the prompt chase for Naruto had started. They had just gotten home from school about ten minutes ago. The blonde kept observing the walls for stains until he accidentally met back up with the guy looming in front of him.

"So, um… What is this inane confrontation about, anywho?" He tried his best to grin, but failed quite miserably when his mouth felt as though it hadn't moved in centuries.

"Inane?! It has a point, idiot! And stop trying to sound smart using last year's vocabulary words! Why did you try to punch Dick Willy?!" Better get right to the point.

"Try?! What do you mean, I socked 'im real good!"

"Correctly, it should be 'I socked him very well,' not 'real good.' Don't you ever learn anything? Besides, you actually missed and punched the Promethean board, smart grass."

"My grass **is** smart, thank you! And what do you mean I missed him?! And why are you fixing my grammar at a time like this?" He shot out an index finger at the boy opposite him accusingly, as if correcting grammar was something unthinkable.

"Bozo, we don't have grass! You punched at him with your eyes closed and then stormed right out of the room before realizing what was going on! You should pay more attention next time! You're lucky you waited until the bell rang, or Iruka-sensei would have given you a good talking to! And I can rectify your grammar all I want, Zac Efron Stalker!"

"Don't bring Zac into this, hen head!"

"Lima bean licker!"

"Badcock shopper!"

"Saurkraut!"

"Porn-reader!!"

"Square!"

"Octagon! That's right! You're a STOPSIGN!!" As he said this, Naruto stormed out of the kitchen and slammed the door as hard as possible. Just to make the exit more… dynamic, you could say. Sasuke scratched his forehead as he picked up some spoons that Naruto managed to launch at him while screaming. Opening the door, he caught a glimpse of the blond as he, again, slammed the door to the bedroom. He approached the room and leaned his shoulder against it.

"Because of your rash actions, Mr. Jealous, we now have to fish out 1,000 dollars for the repair of the Promethean board you so quickly destroyed." A scoff came as a reply.

"Well? Hand over your secret stash of money."

"What are you talking about? I-I don't have a secret stash!"

"Riiight. What about the one you were going to use for that tile mosaic in the kitchen of Zac Efron's face??"

"Er… oh, that one. Fine, it's under my bed in the PINK box. NOT in the blue one." The spiky haired kid mentally wrote down the instructions and entered the room, right as Naruto snatched the newly purchased bottle of shaving cream and dove into the bathroom. Then he ran out screaming, like a little girl.

"Sasuke, there's… there's a scary spider sitting in the bathtub!!" He clung to his savior's shirt and dug his face in it. Sasuke's breath hitched, he didn't even move an inch.

"Heeeelpppp meeeeeeeeeee!" Naruto whined, looking up at Sasuke, teary-eyed.

"F-fine, what are you, a twelve-year-old?" He sighed, not wanting Naruto to stop clinging to him, but he guessed there was no choice. Picking up a paper towel off of the polluted carpet flooring that was still covered with useless junk, he went to face Naruto's enemy. Naruto sat on the bed, wiping a tear off of his cheek. _He's so brave!! _ Sasuke came out, dangling a still-alive flea-sized creature from his hands.

"Is this it??" He was annoyed at how Naruto, who was almost finished with high school, was so afraid of this….thing. He flung it outside, feeling bad for it ending up in Naruto's and his domain. The blond foxy boy instantly sprang up from his bed, landing in Sasuke's arms.

"I LOVE YOU!!" Oh, how Sasuke wanted those words to be really true. Ahem. What was he saying? Shaking away the thoughts, impending to go further, Sasuke gazed at the blond boy nuzzling his face into Sasuke's chest. Hesitantly, he placed an uncertain hand on his companion's back. Immediately a light pink spread on the ebony-haired male's cheeks, and he coughed before pulling away rather hurriedly.

"Th… The blue box. We need to fetch that blue box to pay for Iruka-sensei's board. Right now."

"Oh, right!!" Naruto jumped away to dive under the bed and grope around. Feeling something square and hard, he grabbed at it and brought it into the light. "Aha! Here it… is? Hey, since when did I keep a box of condoms down here??" He looked towards his roomy who in turn shrugged. He then snapped his fingers in recognition. "Oh! It must've been when Kiba came over that one time and scattered these all around my apartment! That mangy mutt…."

Muttering under his breath, he continued to search around for the blue moneybox. This time when he pulled out an object, he inspected it thoroughly before giving a satisfied nod, confirming it was indeed the correct one.

When they had counted out the amount of bills needed to pay for the broken board, they bound them all together with a rubber band and put it in an envelope safely in a zipper pocket of Sasuke's school bag. Naruto had wanted to put the money in his bag, but was flatly denied, along with a smack on the head from the Uchiha. They couldn't afford to lose the 1,000 dollars.

"I still don't understand why I can't carry the money!" The blonde pouted, looking down at the last few crumpled dollars in his blue moneybox. The pout grew even more when he realized there were only four left.

"Because, you're too irresponsible, idiot." Sasuke said without looking at him, and flicked a piece of lint off his shirt.

"Yeah? Well, we have work in fifteen minutes! I bet you I could beat you there on foot! No bikes!" Crossing his arms, cerulean eyes narrowed competitively. A wide grin spread out, he knew his dark friend would never turn down a challenge.

"Hn. And my hair is red."

"Is that an acceptance? You're on, hen head!"

"Idiot."

"HYAA!!" Lunging forward, the foxy boy snatched his work uniform and sprinted out the door, Sasuke following closely behind.

"WAIT." Naruto paused mid-sprint, turning his head around. Sasuke was at the door, fiddling with the keys to lock it.

"Smart thinking, bastard!"

The "bastard" snorted, "Yeah, since there's no way you would have remembered. Sometimes I wonder how you're still alive and a virgin."

"HEY, don't make fun of my virginity, it's very sensitive!" The blonde clinched a fist, shaking it at the verbal attacker. Then he thought better of it and whipped around to continue running to the bookstore. Growling under his breath, the Uchiha also dashed in that direction. Soon, he caught up and they were racing neck-and-neck for the next two blocks, accidentally knocking over a few kids with ice cream cones.

Book's Readalot came into view, and both boys gave an extra burst of speed, despite their burning lungs and heavy panting. Smirking, Sasuke leaned in and made a leap for it, entering the door milliseconds before his opponent. At that particular moment, Sakon, a fellow worker, happened to be strolling by with a stack of books in his arms. Unfortunately for him, those books were soon sent flying through the air as Sasuke, who just came flying through the door, crashed into him. A second later, Naruto also pelted into the both of them, sending them all to the floor in a jumbled dog pile.

Nearby, Sakon's twin brother, Udon, shook his head and continued to sweep up some crumbs in the small café connected to the bookstore.

"BASTARD, you cheated!!" Naruto yelled out at the raven underneath him.

"No, idiot, I won fair and square. You're just a loser." Sasuke smirked up at him, giving off an 'I'm better than you' air.

"Why I 'oughta…!" the blonde's threat was cut short as the body underneath both of them shifted and groaned.

"Are you two just going to lay on me all day and 'violently flirt,' or are you going to move so I can actually breathe?! Some of came here to work, you know!" The boys glared and slowly got up, allowing their poor coworker to hurriedly join his twin.

"Ah, you guys are no fun." Naruto waved them off before turning around to confront Sasuke, who was not there. He was already near the cash register, staring down at the blond with superiority. 'Since when is he that much taller than me?' Naruto wondered, but then noticed a stack of gay romance below Sasuke's feet.

"Oh, so now you're the king of gay porn?" Naruto shouted as he neared the smirking lord, much to a passing-by customer's surprise. The raven, still gazing downward proudly, stepped down and took a good long look at the stack of books. A really, really long and hard look. He even opened one and flipped a few pages.

"This is not porn, Naruto. This is obviously a very sophisticated book about two guys deeply in love." He finally said, standing up.

"Physically in love."

"Right- err, no. Emotionally. Like in soap operas." Sasuke threw a deep gaze at the fox boy. The fox boy, in turn, waved him off and threw him an "Oh you," look. A fake gagging sound came from nearby. They both swiftly turned around to discover Neji. In a skirt.

"Say, do you have a dressing room in here?" Neji looked around as Gaara peered out from behind him and waved at the two boys.

"Neji, this is a book store. Give me one good reason why we would have a dressing room."

"So me and Gaara can form a manly bond of course!" The boys flinched as he said 'manly bond.' "And you two, too." He waggled two fingers in their direction. "I mean, aren't you going out?"

"Er… what?" Sasuke questioned confusedly as a resounding 'EEEEEEEEHHHHH?!' was heard from Naruto's part, his face flushing heavily. Somehow, though, this seemed to go passed unnoticed by Neji.

Flipping his long dark-chocolate hair, the boy gave an exasperated sigh and placed his hands on his hips. "Don't play dumb with me, I know exactly what's going on! You don't have to hide in the closet about being homo, seriously. Me and Gaara can walk out in public and shout out 'Hey everybody, I have an electric back massager!' and walk away as if nothing ha--"

"Wait, what does that have to do with being gay?" Sasuke cut in, raising an eyebrow. He didn't want to admit it, but the thought of him and Naruto dating didn't disturb him as much as it should have. In fact, it sounded like… a good idea. Neji furrowed his delicate brow and contemplated this deeply. Then, shrugging it off, the pale eyes of the teen shone with new thoughts.

"All right, one time while I was in Bed Bath and Beyond I spotted a group of health inspectors, hid behind a shelf, and yelled, 'MATCHING LEATHER PANTS!'" Having actually yelled this out with reciting the anecdote, a few elderly customers turned and stared, gossiping to one another.

"… Neji, that still doesn't have anything to do with being gay."

"Okay… Hm… Well, there was this _other_ time when I was in that candy store down the street and I told the cashier, Kabuto was his name, 'I had sex with socks on last night. It was kink--"

"STOP. Just stop. This isn't going anywhere, and I don't even know why we're listening to you, because Naruto and I are NOT dating. Hell, we might not even be gay. Right, Naruto?" Sasuke glanced to his left—

only to find Naruto giggling at a Zac Efron Barbie doll, Gaara standing by him stoically. The doll was now reciting the song 'We're all in this together…'

"Um… Never mind that last part." The ink haired male mumbled, eye twitching at the sight of yet _another_ Zac-infested product. The blond seemed to notice his friend had turned his attention that way, so he clutched the doll to his chest.

"Saaasukeeeee! This poor little sexy Zac Barbie doll needs me! Just look at him!" He pressed the sound button for emphasis, putting on the most teary-eyed pout as possible. Sasuke twitched some more, only to find himself buying the doll a couple of minutes later. The cashier giggled as she scanned the box, in which the creepily smiling Zac was _still_ singing.

"Batting for the other team, huh?" Sasuke's face resembled a tomato as he quickly snatched the doll and threw money at the grinning girl.

"IT'S FOR A FRIEND!!"

--

"NARUTO, TURN OFF THAT GOSHDARNED DOLL ALREADY!!" Sasuke threw a book in the doll's direction, as Naruto squealed out a 'oh noes!' and clutched the doll to his chest. They were on their lunch break, and Naruto kept making his newly acquired possession sing the possibly most annoying song on this planet. Having dodged the book, another of Sasuke's depressing poetry books, the blond lunged at his friend's hair and started to mess it up.

"HEY! Hey-stop! NO! NOT THAT!" Naruto swished the Sasuke's hair, making it randomly stick up in different directions. Sasuke bravely defended his hairdo; but his enemy got through and made his bangs spike up like some punk's hair. That was the last straw. Sasuke, without a word, stood up and grabbed Naruto by the wrist.

"You. Me. The bathroom. Now."

"Ooh, sounds kinky!" Naruto said as he grinned and received a smack on the head.

"Not like that." And with those words, he proceeded to drag the helpless boy to the deep dark pits of- er... I mean the bathroom.

Gloomily, Sasuke placed his baggage on the toilet in one of the stalls. Then he pulled out a small round box labeled 'hair gel' and smoothed out his hair in front of the mirror.

"Oh, ha ha ha, I've never seen you do your hair be-"

"DON'T TALK." Naruto moved back in his stall, looking somewhat hurt as the disgruntled raven threw a threatening glare at him.

"I'm... I'm truly sorry, Sasuke..." Sniffing, Naruto kicked at a stray piece of tissue on the damp floor. The dark, gloomy boy's heart could not stand this. Neither could his patience. He entered the stall and closed the door behind him, turning the latch. Without one word, he pulled Naruto's face in and put his lips on his. Letting out a muffled cry of surprise, the blonde's eyes widened and his mouth remained frozen against Sasuke's.

The taller male would not let this discourage him, so he took advantage of the slight part in the other's lips and slipped his own tongue through. This seemed to jerk Naruto out of whatever state of shock he was in, and slowly, very hesitantly, his eyes closed and he shifted his mouth around. Lightly, he probed the wet muscle that was 'sightseeing' nearly down his throat. The Uchiha took this as a good sign, so he snaked his arms around the blonde's waist and up his back while he felt another pair wrap around his neck, allowing them to tilt their heads and get a better, _deeper_, angle.

The heavy gasping for air filled the small stall, but the two boys would not stop just yet. Sasuke turned them around and pressed Naruto against the side of the stall without the toilet paper dispenser, and began pressing his knee to Naruto's clothed semi-hard cock. The foxy boy moaned when the knee started rubbing against him, instigating what would have been a serious arousal if there hadn't been a smart rap on the other side of their stall door.

"Excuse me, are you okay in there? Do you need some more toilet paper or something? I'd be glad to help any damsel in distress!" more knocks on the door followed shortly after.

Both boys in the stall widened their eyes and looked at each other. That was the unmistaken able voice of their creepy student teacher, Sai. They broke apart quickly, Sasuke coughing a little with embarrassment.

"Everything's fine, don't worry about us!"

"… Us?" Crappy fiddle sticks. "Wait, is that you, Naruto? It's me, Sai!"

"Er… Yeah! Hello, Sai." Sasuke glared darkly at the stall door, then looked over to Naruto, sharing a look that said 'we have to go out now.' They hurriedly tried to fix their disheveled look, but failed miserably.

"So, are you going to come out? Oh wait, are you finished? You need me to leave? Who else is in there with you?" The dark haired student teacher peered down below the door to see two pairs of feet and legs.

In response, Sasuke swung open the door rather forcfully. Naruto frowned as it hit something hard that let out a little "oomph!" of surprise and pain. Opening it further, they saw Sai sprawled out on the tiled bathroom floor.

"OHMYGAWD is he okay?! Is he still alive??" The blonde squeaked out, rushing to said fallen male.

"Oh, I'm sure he's alright. Just a little unconscious." The raven inspected his nails casually, while inside he was yelling victoriously 'JUST AS PLANNED!'

"Oh, so he isn't dead? Ok, then." Dropping Sai's head back onto the floor, Naruto got up and brushed himself off. Then he turned to Sasuke sheepishly. "So… Does this mean we're… you know?"

"Murderers? Nah, I don't think the police will come after us. Yet." The Uchiha smirked evilly, as if they would have to go with the "where should we hide the body?" plan.

"WHAT?! No, that's not what I meant! I mean, in the bathroom stall and all…"

"Oh, why didn't you say so. You want to do it again? Is that it?" He smirked again, this time with a predator-like gleam in his eye.

"No, bastard! Wait, yes, but… That wasn't what I was getting at! Are we, um… Are we, you know?" He made an intertwining motion with his first two fingers. Sasuke just stared at the fingers for a minute. The he burst out laughing.

"Yes, idiot, we are dating."

"HEY, you didn't even ask me first!"

"Ok, fine." Grabbing Naruto's arm, he dragged him out of the bathroom, apparently searching for something. They neared the café part of the store, and Sasuke suddenly dropped the blonde's arm and power-walked over to the goodies in the glass windows. He picked a white powdered doughnut, and placed it inside of a folded napkin. The whole time, Naruto was standing by, watching him strangely. 'What, has he forgotten me and decided to eat something instead? That piggy hen head! How could he?!' He was about to open his mouth to complain loudly, when Sasuke dropped down on one knee and grabbed Naruto's hand.

"Eh?" Several couples in the café were staring at them, some of them with disgusted faces, and a few with just curiosity. The inky-haired teen in front of him looked into his eyes.

"Naruto… Will you," he paused to uncover the powdery doughnut from the napkin, "go out with me?"

Suddenly- a crash.

"I OBJECT!!"

"Wha?" The startled almost-couple turned around in disbelief. There, at the door, stood their student teacher, Dick Willy.

"WELL, it just so happened that I was standing conveniently concealed by this biscuit stand here when I heard this announcement. But, I am afraid that I cannot let you do that for..." he did a dramatic swoon, leaning against the stand, "I am in love with Sasuke!!"

"WHAT?" A couple of women fainted in the audience.

"I ALSO OBJECT!!" Everyone's heads whirled round. There, poking out of the window was Sai. "I AM IN LOVE WITH NARUTO-AAH!"

Sai fell out of the window into the café, landing on his face next to Dick Willy. There, where Sai was seconds earlier, appeared the face of Kabuto.

"I also demand a say in this!! Sai, I am in love with YOU." Some men gasped at this surprising twist. Orochimaru burst through the door. "SASUKE, KABUTO, YOU CHEATERS!!" But then, he toppled over as Chouji came running in, falling on top of him.

"Chouji, are you also here to reveal some dramatic plot twist?" Naruto inquired.

"Nah, I just wanted a doughnut." Everyone stared in silence but then resumed their bickering afterwards. Sasuke frantically ran around, trying to avoid Dick Willy and some other people who appeared out of nowhere, such as Iruka-sensei, Rock Lee, and Kiba. Seeing as his proposal was not going anywhere he decided to do something drastic. Picking up Naruto bridal-style, and the new couple exited the café, in front of everyone. A couple of minutes later a series of frantic footsteps were heard.

"Am I late?" Kakashi-sensei poked his head in the room, only to find a room full of guys, startled customers, and Kiba telling everyone that he could swear he heard Naruto say "Yes!" and Sasuke tell Naruto, as they were exiting, that they should go make out in the park again.

And things seemed more insane than they ever have before. But, in a good way, because now Naruto knew that was no dream about fantasy birds and white dresses. That was _real_.

-END-

**A/N: Omg. The final chapter. THERE WILL MOST LIKELY BE AN EPILOGUE. Key words being "most" and "likely." And, again, sorry for the wait! It was hard because Franklin and I were separated most of the summer and had to juggle the story back and forth through e-mail to get it done. **

**Benjamin and Franklin, OUT!**


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